April 2009 Face of a Foster Care Graduate
April 18, 2009
Young Carolina-Innocent and precious child that the system failed.....
The power of the human spirit to overcome adversities is a magnificent gift. Many of us can not comprehend the level of power it would take to get through extremely neglectful situations. Imagine you are an innocent child at the mercy of emotionally and mentally deficient adults? Do you think you would continue to stand tall? Would you still be able to dream of a future and set goals for yourself? I am always honored to speak with such great examples of amazing individuals. What continues to surprise me is how many of these great warriors do not view themselves as someone to be celebrated. I do! It is with great honor that I introduce Carolina……
Name: Carolina Hoffman
State: Florida
Occupation: College Student
Marital Status: Married
Favorite Inspirational Book: Jane Eyre
My name is Carolina, (I go by Kat to my friends) and I’ve been out of the system for about 9 years now. I will soon be 27 and although 9 years seems like a long time, I was in and out of foster care from birth until the age of 17. My time in the system lasted almost 15 years. During that time I had two failed adoptions, one that lasted about two years and the other was about to or had just gone through. The best estimate I can recall regarding the number of homes I lived in was 48 or more. When I think back, I see it as a dark time. I always knew that I would fight till the end but as an adult I sometimes think on my younger self as being very strong and I wonder how I survived. I have the mentality now to realize that I really should not be here right now. I always heard how it was my fault no one wanted me. My dad left because I was born a girl and I was crippled. When I saw myself, it was never in the way others did. I saw with my heart. I always wanted to fix things and make my momma love me, but it did not happen that way. As I got older my mother would beat me because she had to take me to the hospital for my legs. I remember her telling my brothers and sisters that we had no money because I was a crippled. It was after she let gangrene set into my leg that HRS stepped in.
Foster care was both my Savior and my worst nightmare. With my mother I knew abuse, neglect, deep hunger, and fear. With the system, a new more terrifying emotion came to play and that was anger and eventually hate. No matter where I went in foster care I was subjected to abuse, hunger, and hate. I have seven siblings of which I have no contact. We all disliked and mistrusted each another. My older brother was one of my biggest abusers, and he was one who should have protected me. Instead, he almost killed me by trying to drown me. Fortunately, I was able to get away and someone finally listened. For a time I felt weak and turned to drugs and prostitution to numb the pain but even that eventually no longer worked. I can remember how easy it was to do those things because my soul was lost, locked up so deep I could not reach it. Eventually I got some help and I started focusing on school. My dream had always been to go to college, and I knew only hard work would make it happen. At 17 I emancipated myself from foster care. It was scary, and the most wonderful feeling in the world. I went to Job Corp, obtained my GED, a skill and began on the road to college. At 18 I married and have been happily married for 8 years.
Adult Carolina-Beautiful, strong and courageous woman who never gave up on herself...
For 3 1/2 years my husband and I opened our home and hearts to a shelter Child. We loved and nurtured him until he was placed with his adoptive family.
Currently, I am working on my Bachelors degree and will soon graduate. I hope to go on to med school soon after graduation. One thing I have learned is never give up! Love yourself, know that you are important, and know that you don’t need anyone else to make you feel you are. Children don’t get to choose their parents but they do get to choose who they become. Fight and stay with it, you can succeed. No matter what, be a Survivor and don’t ever let the system break you.
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6 Responses to “April 2009 Face of a Foster Care Graduate”
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What a kool kat.
Really. I admire you and your accomplishments to date.
You are a person who can be looked up to and looked to for inspiration. You are a hero.
As a foster parent myself, it angers me to hear of all the children who are abused and/or neglected after entering foster care. It is my sole desire to try to help the children who enter my home. Sometimes they make it hard because they push us away for various reasons, mistrust, fear, anger, etc… But I totally agree with Caolina, and try to teach this to the children who I foster, especially the older ones, that we have no control over what happens in our past, but we do have control over what we do with our future. It gives me encouragement to hear these success stories. Way to go Carolina!
Thank you for your comments Vanessa. Please share this site with everyone you can. Every comment helps, every story helps, especially for these children!
Keep up the good work.
This is my beautiful wife, a woman I am proud of who has overcome so much. When I met her 8 1/2 years ago she was a very sad and trubled young woman. Often ashamed of the things that had happend to her that were beyond her control. I have stood by her as she has struggled with her demons and tried to learn to open her heart and love people. She is and will always be my hero, her heart bears more scars then you will ever know yet she always thinks of others and never focuses on her own hurts.
Cat, I am sorry that you experienced more abuse- and felt anger and hate, in foster care. I have been a foster parent and am an adoptive parent. The things kids do can sometimes make adults frustrated and angry- but they should never take out that frustration on the people they are supposed to be helping. You have grown into a determined and dynamic woman- despite your early losses and lack of nurturing. You are to be commended. Hold on to your dreams and keep pushing to attain your goals!
Nancy Oliver
roliver24@cfl.rr.com