Random Thoughts From Childhood Series-The Story

June 20, 2009

Memories from Jenny's childhood

The Story…..

The heart and mind of a child is an amazing and wonderful , miraculous thing. At an early age we are capable of great love, we see the best in everyone, we believe in miracles. The unbelievable is foreseeable in our loving childish eyes. We believe every word spoken when it comes from someone we love, a parent, a sibling, someone we trust. We don’t understand what a lie is, the eyes of innocence do not recognize this.

Looking back on my early days, both in foster care and after foster care I learned so much about humanity. Truth is an elusive creature, subjective in the eyes of the story teller. Perception is an individuals perspective, each person has their own and we choose that which makes sense to us.

Some children hold love in their hearts regardless of the abuse they endured, choosing to devote themselves to helping and giving to others while others become bitter and turn their backs on the world.

“To see the best in humanity when childhood showed me it’s worst, this is my greatest gift”

In my last post; “Random Thoughts From Childhood Series-The Day I Came Home” I spoke about the day I learned my older brothers would not be coming home and was told they went to live with my father. Imagine all the questions that a child would think of at this point. A mom and dad and four children, two go with the mom and two go with the dad, what does each parent say to the two children that they have about the other two children going with the other parent? The two older boys are now in the state of California with their father and the two youngest children are in Pennsylvania with their mother.

What did my parent choose to say?

Your father is a bad man, sneaky and a liar. (I’m leaving out the curse words). He tricked me and stole my boys. The bastard said he wanted to help me out and would take the boys until I got back on my feet. He said that I would be able to call and speak to them anytime I wanted and that he would send them back to me when I got back on my feet. Next thing I know, he moved and changed his phone number to unlisted. Then he filed for custody with the California courts. I lost because I didn’t show up for court. I couldn’t pay for a plane ticket, where would I get the money? Your father is sneaky, he knew I didn’t have any money and that I wouldn’t be able to afford to show up in court for the hearing. Your father stole your brothers from us I don’t even know where they are, can you believe he did that to me? We don’t need them, he is lucky that he only wanted the two of them and not you and your brother, (lot’s more curse words)!

As a child I never heard my mother say anything good about my father. I grew up hearing constant reminders from her about how he didn’t want anything to do with us. Luckily for me as I got older, this very thing made me suspicious!

Until next time, keep the faith and remember that there are two sides to every story, see them both and you choose your side!