Random Thoughts From Childhood Series-The Psychologist
August 22, 2009
Mat's Memories From Childhood
THE PSYCHOLOGIST
I woke the next morning nervous, but curious about the person I was to meet today. Even though there were no witnesses to my act of violence, I was still ashamed of my behavior at the park yesterday and feared eating breakfast with the rest of the kids. I believed I would rightfully be judged for my dreadful outburst at the park. I sucked it up and headed down to eat. No one said or acted like anything had happened and my trepidation subsided. I headed outside to play with the other kids. After several hours of playing, I went back to my cottage and ate lunch. I cleaned up my mess from lunch and headed back outside. I had been playing briefly when a house parent came out and asked me to head to the office. “Oh boy” I thought and headed down to where I was told to go. I enter the front door and I’m escorted down the hall and into a room. Sitting inside was a man with a beard that I had not seen before. The door closed behind me and I was asked to take a seat. By now, I’ve become pretty accustomed to my situation and surroundings that I find myself in and of course thinking the worst. I think to myself, “I have no excuse for my behavior at the park and have no idea what I will say.” My heart pounds with anticipation of the questions that may be asked…….
The man leans forward and asks “Your name is Mat, Right?”
Me: Yes
Man: “How are you doing?”
Me: I mumble “Fine.”
Man: “How do you feel about living here at Ivy House?”
Me: Um (I do not understand the question)
Man: “You know how do you feel about your living arrangements?”
Me: What? I don’t know ( what’s living arrangements?)
The man stares at me and reaches for a file. He fumbles with the file and opens it and then starts turning pages in the file. He takes a deep breath and states he is here to help. He tells me that I’m not in trouble and that he is going to ask me questions. He tells me to answer them as best I could and that there is no wrong or right answer. All I heard at this point was that I was not in trouble, so I relax. This really loosens me up as I slump in my chair and prepare myself for any additional questions.
Man: Tell me about school?
Me: I don’t like it.
Man: Why is that?
Me: I don’t know.
Man: Give me an example of what you don’t like?
Me: I don’t respond. (What’s an example?)
Man: What kind of things makes you angry?
Me: I don’t know. (Things?)
This goes on for about an hour. My head is spinning! I sense he is trying to help, but his line of questions eludes me. I’m finally told my time was up and I could leave. I exit the room and think “What was that about?” I desperately try to process what just happened, but cannot. I open the front door of the office and head outside. I see kids playing and run to join in on the fun….
I do not think in the early 1970’s there was many child psychologists, so I believe I was seeing an adult psychologist based on the fact that he asked adult questions.
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