Random Thoughts from Childhood Series – Oh What a Day

January 22, 2010

OH WHAT A DAY

Mat's Memories From Childhood

I really enjoyed the catholic school that I was placed into because the class size was much smaller than the public school and no one teased or picked on me. The trade off was that I had to wear a cheesy uniform of plaid shorts, white button up shirt and a clip on tie. There were variations of the uniform and I seemed to wear the wrong combination all too often. The other trade off was punishment by the head Nun should one step out of line. That punishment was a ruler to the palm of the hand and the number of times you where struck on the palm depended on the infraction. I had this punishment several times and OH how I hated that ruler!

I had a habit of spacing out and being completely oblivious to my surrounding. Maybe I had A.D.D., but whatever the case was I seemed to zone out at the most inappropriate time. I sat in the front row in class and this one time during lecture, I stood up as if I was the only one in the room and walked to the back of the room where the wall was lined with closets. I stepped inside the closet and closed the door partway and proceeded to go through the other student’s lunches. I ate someone’s Twinkie and took a bite out of someone else’s peanut butter sandwich. I suddenly hear a faint noise in the background and then snap out my trance. I hear the teacher yelling my name and telling me to remove myself from the closet and come to the front of the class immediately! All the other students just stared at me in silence as I walked to the front of the class. I was grabbed by the arm and escorted out of the class and down the hall to the head Nun. I was placed inside her office and spent a brief moment by myself as the teacher explained what happened to the Nun. I just knew I would be punished with the dreaded ruler. I started guessing in silence on how many times my palm would be hit, when suddenly the door opened and the Nun stood there with hands on her hip shaking her head. The door closed and she said nothing. She walked to her desk and opened a drawer and out came the RULER. I wanted to cry, but refused to let her see any tears. She grabbed my left hand and said I would be getting ten hits! I gasped and screamed TEN!

She would always count out loud, ONE TWO, THREE, after each strike. The first few always hurt the most and then the hand would become numb. The punishment began and as she reached THREE the most wonderful thing happened. I can’t believe it! It was the sweetest sight, pure nirvana! The ruler broke in two and I watched in slow motion as the broken piece flipped into the air and ricocheted off her desk and hit the ground. The hated ruler lost and I won! Figuring she had to be done, I went to turn and head for the door and she said, “Where are you going?” I stared in sheer horror as she opens another drawer and pulls out a new ruler. The terror did not stop there. The drawer was full of dozens of rulers! Oh crap! The really sad part was that I actually thought that was the only ruler and not once considered the existence of others. Sad I know! She finishes NINE, TEN, and then I’m told to return to class.

I get back just in time for confession. This is my first confession and I have no idea what to expect. We walk single file to the chapel and enter in groups of five. I’m in the second group that enters and we watch as each person walks into a small closet and closes the door. I faintly hear each one start with “Forgive me father for I have sinned” followed by something they did wrong. My heart starts to race and I begin to panic. It’s my turn and my legs feel like lead as I enter and close the door. I hear the priest say “Yes son” and I stand there in silence. My head is spinning and I’m trying to think of something bad I did, but draw a blank. Suddenly, I know what to say and I begin with “Forgive me father for I have sinned” and I hear “Go ahead.” I make something up and say “I stole a lollipop from my brother.” I’m told to do two Hail Mary’s and then I exit the room. Will this day ever end? I just want to go home to Ivy House.

The irony of the confession was that I lied, which was a sin. So I committed a sin to tell a sin and completely forgot about the sin I just committed early in the day by stealing someone’s lunch. I really have a knack of making my life harder than it needs to be but hey, I’m a kid and there’s plenty of time to correct that……………