The Unconditional Love of a Mother is Powerful ..
May 14, 2010
The unconditional love of a mother is something so powerful that it cannot be replicated from any other person. I am not saying that another cannot love or be loved unconditionally by another. Love can and does come in all forms but a mother’s unconditional love is unlike any other. I find myself awe struck whenever I witness this incredible and selfless love. The awe probably stems from the fact that I have no experience with it myself. As a result, I am a big admirer and have a genuine appreciation for all the moms out there who give this gift to their children. Recently I watched a movie that had me captivated, and I sat on the edge of my seat for the entire 2 hours, touched and inspired and even a bit jealous.
It was the kind of movie that had “tear jerker” all over it and yet I could not turn the channel. The story was about a woman who had a great career as a successful partner in a law firm and a wonderful and happy 10 year old little girl. Early on in the program, this healthy and beautiful looking woman is diagnosed with cancer. The movie picks up at the point where the woman is just finishing up with completing the recommended treatment of drugs and chemotherapy. She is told by her Doctor that the treatments have failed, her condition terminal, and no hope for recovery. With six months at best to live, she makes the decision to spend every last moment, making sure that her daughter gets to create as many wonderful memories as possible so she has enough of them to carry her through life. She moves them from the big city to a house on the beach in the small town she grew up in.
The film is touching and heart wrenching as it takes you through her final days, highlighting the incredible love and bond shared between her and her daughter. As her last days of life are slowly breathed on screen, I found myself in complete awe of the amazing selflessness on the part of the Mother and the incredible bravery of those who love her to be present with her completely until the end. I was sobbing like a big baby. Ironically, I was not tearing up because this mother was dying. It was more like an overwhelming sad heart I felt knowing that so many children (orphans, foster care) never get to have this kind of powerful love from their mother. It also reminded me of all those who have it, yet are so unaware of how precious it is or simply don’t appreciate it.
So here I am, writing this blog. This incredible example of unconditional love from a mother to her child is an emotion that I have great respect and admiration for. I, like many foster children am unfamiliar with receiving it but I can tell you I know it when I see it! I know someone who lost her mother, a result of a bad accident. They shared this miracle bond of unconditional love. This loss was so overwhelming to her that I don’t think she ever really recovered. I wish that she was able to think more about the experience of having had the gift and less that it was taken away. As I write this, I recognize that maybe it takes someone who never had it to view it this way.
Final Thoughts
For all of you who are blessed to have this amazing and selfless gift, appreciate, be grateful and thank your mom for it right now.
For those of you who do not, celebrate that you are here and thank her for that. You always have the power to learn from a loss and do better with your own children.
Related Reading:
May 2010 Face of a Foster Care Graduate – Tanya Cooper
May 5, 2010
Our May feature comes to us from New York. She was in foster care from age five through twenty-one. As you read her story, it will become clear why she is a remarkable example of a survivor. Please welcome Tanya …….
Name: Tanya Cooper
State: New York
Occupation: Author/Motivational Speaker/Child Advocate
Website: tanya-onthetown.blogspot.com
Tanya Cooper
I am 45 years old with 2 beautiful girls, ages 13 and 21. I went to the Fashion Institute of Technology (F.I.T.) in New York City for 2 years. During my time at F.I.T. I was awarded a contract as a Runway Model in Paris. After returning to the states, I went back to school and graduated from New York University in 1996.
My Time in Foster Care
I was in foster care from age 5-21. My mom was a heroin addict and alcoholic who would leave us for weeks without food and sometimes lights. I have 4 siblings and my 5 year old sister became our mother; changing diapers and stealing food for us to eat. By the time we came into the foster care system, we were malnourished. We had never been to school or around many people as we only left the house to steal food. Once in awhile, we would be able to go and get food from one of my mom’s 9 siblings, (all but 3 of them were on drugs). My baby brother (who would now be 41) was adopted when he was around 2 or 3 so he only spent the first couple of years with us in foster care. My other brother Rob, I grew up with and we stayed together until I was 18. At this point, I left my 2nd foster home after it was DISCOVERED that I was being molested by two of the foster brothers and used as a sex slave for years, since age 9. My sister who I have contact with now, is doing okay and learning to enjoy life.
Tanya's Modeling Days in Paris
After Foster Care
In addition to the challenges I faced in foster care, I have also survived being homeless two times, being a single mother, and having cancer. For the last 8 years I was a substance abuse counselor working with adolescents and kids over 15. I recently finished writing a book about my story of survival called “Surviving foster care & Making it work for you!” I hope to have it published by Summer of 2010.
My Mission
I am trying to make a difference in foster kids lives because it is hard without family. My brother Rob just died in July (just before his 42nd birthday) of heart disease. He was my favorite person, always lifting me up when we were kids. I survived because he always knew how to pick me up. Imagine a kid who does not have anyone to pick them up? I want to do seminars and teach kids that no matter what happens, get back up and live your best life now!
Rob
Growing up in the system was no easy task. Remembering what it was like as a foster kid, wondering around in the dark, never knowing the answers to life. I want to share words of encouragement, help anyone who was in foster care and I want kids to start taking control of their lives now. Please view my blog of encouragement: tanya-onthetown.blogspot.com.
Related Reading:
Author Rhonda Sciortino shares advice on becoming a foster parent
May 4, 2010
Rhonda is a world renowned Author and Public Speaker that has been featured on our site as a graduate. Check out her latest video on foster parenting!
Chats about becoming a foster parent video – Rhonda
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