About
Jennifer Flamini - Executive Director
My name is Jennifer Flamini and I am one of over 12 million adults living in America who have graduated out of the foster care system. The goal of this site is to feature graduates of foster care, who despite the adversities of growing up in the system went on to become successful, productive members of society. This site will provide an environment that celebrates and promotes these individuals while at the same time, serve as a source of inspiration, giving current foster care children the hope that so many of us didn’t have. These children need role models they can identify with, to know that they are not alone, and to see just how many of us are out here in the world. That feeling of not belonging is a constant in the lives of foster children. We can give them something that no one else can offer and that is the message that you are not alone.
My Background and Mission
I entered foster care as a result of divorce. I am from a family of four children and I have 3 brothers. After my parents divorced, my mother was granted custody of me and my siblings. My father was in the military, a Navy man and was not a familiar figure during my childhood. Soon after the divorce, it became evident that my mother was unable to take care of us and the state stepped in and removed us. The older boys went to an orphanage and me and my little brother went into foster care. I was in the 3rd grade when I was returned to my mother and a whole new set of challenges.
After foster care, I had no contact with my older brothers or father and was raised to believe that my father was a terrible person who had abandoned me, and stole my older brothers from my mother. Through out my childhood I was told the divorce happened because of me and continually reminded of this. My younger brother and I lived under the constant threat of being sent back into foster care if we misbehaved.
As a young adult I decided that I needed to look my father in the face and know his side of the story. I wanted to know where my older brothers ended up and why they hadn’t contacted me. I spent years wondering, missing, and searching for them and at age 24 I found them. It was during these years that I learned an entire different version of the past which I was raised to believe. There are no words to describe the experience of being reunited with a missing part of your family.
Looking back on it now I can see all sides of the story and in the end they matter very little. This is not a place for playing the blame game. What matters, is choosing to create a future that will be far greater than the past. In my opinion, I am not responsible for the failings of the adults in my life, although I suffered as a result of them I do not believe I should carry this weight on my shoulders. Back then it was all out of my hands and this point is the driving force behind my passion for creating this website. So many former alumni are walking around with a burden that doesn’t belong to them on their backs. Children have a unique way of finding a reason to blame themselves. Many children who end up in foster care feel like it is their fault and these children grow up with this mindset. Some feel they have a stamp of shame or embarrassment attached to them. My intention is that this site will help millions of former alumni change the way they view themselves so they can recognize, celebrate and embrace the silent warrior that’s inside. We may not be able to alter the course of experiences from childhood, changes to the past are simply not possible. However, while control of yesterday is out of reach, we have the power to make a difference now. Today we are warriors!
