Video Series – How to become a foster parent ….

October 28, 2010

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Walden University Student Request for Research Participants…

September 4, 2010

I received an inquiry from a college student for research participants and offered to post a note for him.  Please read his short request and contact him directly if you can help.

Hello,

My name is Samuel Brooks. I’m presently a doctoral student at Walden University. The focus of my research study is on fathers 18 years and older who spent time in foster care as children and are now actively involved with their children. Of particular interest are the potential influences which may have affected their parental involvement. These influences could include: foster fathers, foster mothers, biological parents, relatives, mentors and others.

Research participants would complete a brief survey questionnaire which can be accessed online.  Participants would not be required to answer any questions considered as too personal or inappropriate. Participants are also eligible to receive a $10.00 gift card as compensation. All  participants are protected by the ethical and confidentiality requirements as specified by Walden University.

Interested parties may contact:

Samuel L. Brooks

sbroo001@waldenu.edu

708-283-8123

Thank you.

July 2010 Face of a Foster Care Graduate – LaTasha C. Watts

July 4, 2010

Our July feature comes to us from Ohio.  She spent her childhood in the foster care system.  LaTasha is best known as a professional advocate, serving the foster care community and has won numerous honors for her endless dedication to children. One of her greatest achievements is the creation of a wonderful website called “The Purple Project” which is a support source for former and current foster alumni.

Name: LaTasha C. Watts

State: Ohio

Occupation:  Child Advocate and Mentor/Motivational Speaker/Future Author

Website: www.latashacwatts.com and www.thepurpleproject.org

Most people wake up each day with a mom, a dad or some form of a family structure. But for some of us in the foster care system the reality of this type of life is few and far in between………I barely remember important parts of my life, it’s as if those parts never existed. I own no baby pictures of myself and only acquired a few pictures during my adolescence & teen years. It’s as if a whole section of my life disappeared. I grew up my entire life in the foster care system, struggling to grasp the concept, drifting in and out of relationships and trying to find what one would call normal. On top of it all, I still had to endure the normal stages that children and teens generally face throughout their developmental years. Being in care was no picnic for me. While I did not bounce around from place to place, I did face more turmoil while being in care from deaths, exposure to molestation, drugs and even turning to alcohol all before the age of 15.

I officially aged out of the foster care system at the age of 18, two days shy of my 19th birthday and a day after graduating from high school. But by then I was lost, alone and broken. And the system that once kept my mere existence alive had vanished. One would think that the system that put me here would have prepared me better for the world in which I was about to face. After aging out of the foster care system, I experienced a form of homelessness, living from place to place, without a stable place to call my own. Not to mention I lacked the essential skills that most people take for granted: cooking, washing clothes, paying bills, maintaining a bank account and even holding down a job for more than a week. Life became “survival of the fittest” for me. I learned how to manipulate any situation, to get the results that I needed “survival tactics,” or a “hustle” one might call it. Whatever you call it it’s definitely not a place you want to be. A whole year after exiting the system, I finally caught a break, a sigh of relief, there was a program that was designed for people just like me. At least until the age of 21, I could finally be free! I could attend college for an entire year, have a place to stay and most importantly I could eat. But I was forgetting one crucial factor, that college at the time was not right for me. Like many foster kids I struggled to get out of high school and although I did receive a high school diploma, keep in mind that so many of us do not. Unfortunately, college was the last thing on my mind, I spent the next year living on campus, never going anywhere, especially during the holidays and school breaks, all because I had no place to be. I was eventually kicked out of college. And would then spend the next two years in a controlling relationship, being diagnosed with OCD, having a kid, becoming a single mother and battling Cancer all by the mere age of 23.

A lot has changed since then; it has been approximately 17 years, since I have “aged out” of the foster care system. My Life is much different now, I have triumphed over adversity. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the importance of making a difference in someone’s life. That difference came for me, with the creation of The Purple Project (sm), which is a support network that I designed to help change the negative outcomes that many of us face after being a part of the foster care system.“Being in the system does not mean that you are alone!”

For more information regarding, LaTasha’s story and The Purple Project (sm) or if you would like to book LaTasha as a speaker or a panelist at your event, please email lcwatts@thepurpleproject.com.

The Unconditional Love of a Mother is Powerful ..

May 14, 2010

The unconditional love of a mother is something so powerful that it cannot be replicated from any other person.  I am not saying that another cannot love or be loved unconditionally by another.  Love can and does come in all forms but a mother’s unconditional love is unlike any other.  I find myself awe struck whenever I witness this incredible and selfless love.   The awe probably stems from the fact that I have no experience with it myself.  As a result, I am a big admirer and have a genuine appreciation for all the moms out there who give this gift to their children.  Recently I watched a movie that had me captivated, and I sat on the edge of my seat for the entire 2 hours, touched and inspired and even a bit  jealous.

It was the kind of movie that had “tear jerker” all over it and yet I could not turn the channel.   The story was about a woman who had a great career as a successful partner in a law firm and  a wonderful and happy 10 year old little girl.  Early on in the program, this healthy and beautiful looking woman is diagnosed with cancer.  The movie picks up at the point where the woman is just finishing up with completing the recommended treatment of  drugs and chemotherapy.  She is told by her Doctor that the treatments have failed,  her condition terminal, and no hope for recovery.  With six months at best to live, she makes the decision to spend every last moment,  making sure that  her daughter gets to create as many wonderful memories as possible so she has enough of them to carry her through life.  She moves them from the big city to a house on the beach in the small town she grew up in.

The film is touching and heart wrenching as it takes you through her final days, highlighting the incredible love and bond shared between her and her daughter.  As her last days of life are slowly breathed on screen, I found myself in complete awe of the amazing selflessness on the part of the Mother and the incredible bravery of those who love her to be present with her completely until the end.  I was sobbing like a big baby.  Ironically, I was not tearing up because this mother was dying.  It was more like an overwhelming sad heart I felt knowing that so many children (orphans, foster care) never get to have this kind of powerful love from their mother.  It also reminded me of all those who have it, yet are so unaware of how precious it is or simply don’t appreciate it.

So here I am, writing this blog.  This incredible example of unconditional love from a mother to her child is an emotion that I have great respect and admiration for.  I, like many foster children am unfamiliar with receiving it but I can tell you I know it when I see it!   I know someone who lost her mother, a result of a bad accident.  They shared this miracle bond of unconditional love.  This loss was so overwhelming to her that I don’t think she ever really recovered.  I wish that she was able to think more about the experience of having had the gift and less that it was taken away.  As I write this, I recognize that maybe it takes someone who never had it to view it this way.

Final Thoughts

For all of you who are blessed to have this amazing and selfless gift, appreciate, be grateful and thank your mom for it right now.

For those of you who do not, celebrate that you are here and thank her for that.  You always have the power to learn from a loss and do better with your own children.

Author Rhonda Sciortino shares advice on becoming a foster parent

May 4, 2010

Rhonda is a world renowned Author and Public Speaker that has been featured on our site as a graduate.  Check out her latest video on foster parenting!

Chats about becoming a foster parent video – Rhonda

Note From Founder: Jennifer Flamini – A Message from A Foster Dad

March 1, 2010

I received a wonderful  letter from a foster dad.  The letter offers both words of encouragement as well as a demonstration of   human kindness that I am honored to witness and share with you.  Thank you Bishop Hodges for your message of hope, love and faith in us.

My dear sister,

my name is Bishop H.L.Hodges, my wife and I have been foster parents for years. We first started in Los Angeles, Ca and upon moving back home, to Pensacola, Fl we cont. to do the same. My heart as always been for the children of the world, they struggle with life and it’s problems, while just looking for someone to tell them, “YOU CAN MAKE IT”! I was moved by your own personal story, and decide to write you about mine. Although i grew up in a home surrounded by two brothers and a sister, a mom that worked 16 hr. a day,  I still did not have the much needed father figure, but l learned to become a man from a woman that showed me how to be one.

My wife and I have been married for 36 yr. although we never had any kids of our own, we “Adopted 6 kids that we use to foster”. they are all grown now, and have their own families,  I still fuss, and I still LOVE THEM, just as much as I have always done. That the job of a “Father” not a dad, for any man can be a dad, but, there are few that can be counted and “Father’s”. If there was any one that I wished could have been my daughter, my wife and I wish it could have been you. I hope that all your efforts to help other’s, will be rewarded, for I can feel in my heart that you have a passion for what you are doing to help those that struggle, just as you have struggled!!!!!!

My wife and I are not as young as we use to be, L.O.L. I learned how to write that from my youngest girl, but, if we can encourge your group, and please tell them this one thing for us please, “NEVER, EVER, GIVE UP ON THEIR DREAMS”.

Thank you for letting a old man talk to you.

Bishop H.L.Hodges
Life Changing Ministries AFH Church
non-denomonational

Random Thoughts from Childhood Series – Oh What a Day

January 22, 2010

OH WHAT A DAY

I really enjoyed the catholic school that I was placed into because the class size was much smaller than the public school and no one teased or picked on me.  The trade off was that I had to wear a cheesy uniform of plaid shorts, white button up shirt and a clip on tie. There were variations of the uniform and I seemed to wear the wrong combination all too often.  The other trade off was punishment by the head Nun should one step out of line.  That punishment was a ruler to the palm of the hand and the number of times you where struck on the palm depended on the infraction.  I had this punishment several times and OH how I hated that ruler!

I had a habit of spacing out and being completely oblivious to my surrounding.  Maybe I had A.D.D., but whatever the case was I seemed to zone out at the most inappropriate time.  I sat in the front row in class and this one time during lecture, I stood up as if I was the only one in the room and walked to the back of the room where the wall was lined with closets.  I stepped inside the closet and closed the door partway and proceeded to go through the other student’s lunches.  I ate someone’s Twinkie and took a bite out of someone else’s peanut butter sandwich.  I suddenly hear a faint noise in the background and then snap out my trance.  I hear the teacher yelling my name and telling me to remove myself from the closet and come to the front of the class immediately!  All the other students just stared at me in silence as I walked to the front of the class.  I was grabbed by the arm and escorted out of the class and down the hall to the head Nun.  I was placed inside her office and spent a brief moment by myself as the teacher explained what happened to the Nun.  I just knew I would be punished with the dreaded ruler.  I started guessing in silence on how many times my palm would be hit, when suddenly the door opened and the Nun stood there with hands on her hip shaking her head.  The door closed and she said nothing.  She walked to her desk and opened a drawer and out came the RULER.  I wanted to cry, but refused to let her see any tears.  She grabbed my left hand and said I would be getting ten hits! I gasped and screamed TEN!

She would always count out loud, ONE TWO, THREE, after each strike.  The first few always hurt the most and then the hand would become numb.  The punishment began and as she reached THREE the most wonderful thing happened.  I can’t believe it!  It was the sweetest sight, pure nirvana!  The ruler broke in two and I watched in slow motion as the broken piece flipped into the air and ricocheted off her desk and hit the ground.  The hated ruler lost and I won!  Figuring she had to be done, I went to turn and head for the door and she said, “Where are you going?”  I stared in sheer horror as she opens another drawer and pulls out a new ruler.  The terror did not stop there.  The drawer was full of dozens of rulers!  Oh crap!  The really sad part was that I actually thought that was the only ruler and not once considered the existence of others.    Sad I know!  She finishes NINE, TEN, and then I’m told to return to class.

I get back just in time for confession.  This is my first confession and I have no idea what to expect.  We walk single file to the chapel and enter in groups of five.  I’m in the second group that enters and we watch as each person walks into a small closet and closes the door.  I faintly hear each one start with “Forgive me father for I have sinned” followed by something they did wrong.  My heart starts to race and I begin to panic.  It’s my turn and my legs feel like lead as I enter and close the door.  I hear the priest say “Yes son” and I stand there in silence.  My head is spinning and I’m trying to think of something bad I did, but draw a blank.  Suddenly, I know what to say and I begin with “Forgive me father for I have sinned” and I hear “Go ahead.”  I make something up and say “I stole a lollipop from my brother.”  I’m told to do two Hail Mary’s and then I exit the room. Will this day ever end?  I just want to go home to Ivy House.

The irony of the confession was that I lied, which was a sin.  So I committed a sin to tell a sin and completely forgot about the sin I just committed early in the day by stealing someone’s lunch.   I really have a knack of making my life harder than it needs to be but hey, I’m a kid and there’s plenty of time to correct that……………

Foster Care Statistics Poll Commissioned by CASA

August 13, 2009

Interesting results from recent poll on foster care.  Thanks to Lin at childrenwithoutavoiceusa.org for sending our way!

A national online Harris Poll commissioned by the National Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) Association found that most adults know little about foster care or the experience of children in care. The poll was conducted in December 2008 and gathered data from 2,281 adults about their impressions of the foster care system and its impact on children. Results were weighted to reflect the whole U.S. population. Key findings indicate the following:
83% of adults knew very little about the experience of children in care.
31% knew someone who was or had been in foster care.
45% reported negative impressions of foster care, and 11 percent reported positive impressions (the remainder were neutral or did not have enough information to decide).
11% thought that children were in foster care because of something the children did, although the majority strongly disagreed and tended to blame the biological parents.
87% agreed that improving the foster care system should be a national priority.
In a press release about the poll’s findings, the National CASA Association contrasted the poll results with a focus group study conducted earlier in the year with 50 youth currently or formerly in foster care. These youth present a different picture, with many of the youth developing into determined individuals, optimistic about their future. They felt that the difficulties they had faced had made them stronger. Many cited disruptions in schooling and problems finding resources after leaving foster care as major obstacles; however, they noted that the support of a significant adult—like a CASA volunteer—can help them overcome some of these challenges. For more information, visit www.casanet.org.

Children’s Rights-National Watchdog Organization Advocating on Behalf of Abused and Neglected Children

July 13, 2009

2009-04-01_spring_newsletter_final

Childrensrights.org

Great Foster Care site in Australia

June 22, 2009

I met a great woman from Australia who publishes a site that focuses on foster care , sharing  viewpoints of the foster parents. We found each other on Twitter and I like hearing the perspective of some positive and loving parents who cherish their foster child. Follow link below, check it out and let me know what you think. I invited the site creators to submit articles for posting on this site so our audience can gain insight from another side.

http://www.fostercarer.com.au

Serving up Some Inspiration-What Makes the Difference-?

June 4, 2009

Why is it that some who fall down cannot get up while others are slammed repeatedly and refuse to stay down?  I think we all know that person who barely survives a scapped knee, complaining to anyone that will listen and ranting about how terrible life is for them?  Please tell me I am not the only person dealing with a “sissy la la” type personality!  Then you have people like those featured on this site and wonder what makes the difference.  The next time you come accross someone who is focussed on a non deserving pity party…hum, I say please  direct them to this site for a little dose of humility and reality.

Traffic is climbing

June 1, 2009

Good news, May traffic numbers are the highest yet, no doubt a result of the fabulous Foster Care Alumni sharing their stories!

May 2009 Results:

Page views total = 4595

Visits total = 942

Hits total = 13,282

That’s pretty impressive for a site built for an audience that has a reputation for keeping silent don’t you think? Also worth mentioning is that we are seeing traffic/visits from near and far and here are a few locations:

United States

Canada

Czech Republic

India

Australia

This site, not unlike “The Little Engine that Could” will continue striving to bring Silent Warriors into the light of society.

New Resource Page

June 1, 2009

A new page with helpful links to some great websites is now up on http://www.fostercareinamerica.com. The new “Resource Links” page is located in the “About” section of the website. The new resource page can be visited by following this link

Hope For Orphans and Abused Children:

Arkofhopeforchildren.com

Help Prevent Child Abuse:

Childrenwithoutavoiceusa.org

Finding Forever Families for Children in Foster Care:

Davethomasfoundation.org

National Foster Care Coalition:

Nationalfostercare.org

Everyone Deserves a Family:

Heartgallerynj.org

Promotion of permanency, community, and caring relationships for adoptive families of foster children while offering safety and meaningful purpose in the daily lives of older adults:

Generationsofhope.org

The National Network for Young People in Foster Care:

Fosterclub.com

I was asked why don’t they speak out and tell their stories

May 14, 2009

Recently the question was posed as to why, if there are 12 million adults in America who spent time in the foster care system, why don’t they share their stories with the public? My response: “I don’t know that anybody has asked them!”

Silent Warriors

May 3, 2009

We all have our battles to fight. Some are private, some are public and some are too painful to discuss. This website, this cause is about the more than 12 million adults living in America who have spent time in the foster care system. You may not recognize us, raised to keep silent, you might not realize we are here. We are your neighbor, your boss, your wife, husband, the person who delivers your mail, your child’s soccer coach, your child’s teacher, we are silently walking among you. For more than 2 years, I have monitored all things (online blogs and news feeds) relating to foster care; the system, the children, and the failures. Today, this site, aims to feature these amazing survivors, who I have come to call silent warriors. They talk with me, share with me and open their hearts to me. I am grateful, and I am humbled. These warriors, over 12 million of them out there in America are truly inspirational. Please continue to follow this site and be inspired by reading their stories!

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