Dare to Dream
I am a graduate. Oh you may think that I am telling of high school or college but I am referring to my time as a foster youth seven to 10 years old. My time in the foster care system lasted about three years. I was afraid, ashamed, and never spoke about it to others. I didn’t want to hear whispers, be pitied, or tell others that my family was not functional.
I have decided to share my story because so many perceive foster kids as trouble with a capital T! Today, I am a successful wife, mom, grandmother and hula teacher. Hula teaching is my love and I share it to help bring awareness to needy kids and families.
I always wondered why God let this happen to me. I mean being a foster kid. Well I now believe I was given a gift and I have been in training my entire life so that I could help and inspire others. Not just foster youth but foster parents our community and anyone interested in helping kids. You see I have had a dream since seven years old to be a mom. I always knew that I would marry a wonderful man with dark hair and blue eyes; of course I didn’t know he would be bald now. I am just teasing because he is the first to laugh when I joke about him.
Our children include biological and foster/adopt children. I tell this because I want everyone to know that even though I did not conceive some of my children they are all our kids. We love them equally and I want society and most importantly our children themselves to know there is no shame in where they come from. As a parent I want them to be all that they can be and to follow their dreams. Most importantly, I want our children to respect and love who they are and what they can be. I want them to be able to share without fear of being condemned or ridiculed over something they had no control over.
I as a foster child was first afraid the day we were taken into custody. Nothing was explained to me and the fear of the unknown can make you go inside yourself. Next, I was fearful that kids in school would find out and I would not be accepted. But I was mostly fearful because I was the eldest of three siblings and I thought we were not going to be together. That is exactly what happened. When we were first taken into custody I didn’t know they put the boys in a separate area. I was going crazy not knowing where my little brother was and my sister was in a different section because of her young age. They did let my sister stay with me because she would not quit crying but I still did not know where our brother was. I finally found out recently, 40 years later, that he was having an adventure because he was with boys and not with his silly sisters!
Besides my family, one of my most proud accomplishments is my hula class. These are young men, women, kids and seniors helping to bring awareness to foster kids and families. Together we are a team helping others. It is such a joy for me to be able to teach my students the love of hula dance and love of others. I am so blessed with students who want to give back to our community. These past five years we have danced for cancer, abused children, the homeless shelter, made blankets for the Linus project, and brought joy to our seniors living in skilled living facilities. One of my most fond memories was sharing hula with young women held in custody at a Sheriffs detention center. We were very moved and proud that we could expose these young women to something they had never seen before. It was reported back to us that the Sheriffs detention center did not have any trouble with these young people for weeks after. I believe we only do what we know or have been shown to do. One of my own dancers told me after the performance that she was on the same path and that when she joined us it changed her life and lifestyle. I am very proud to have made a difference in her life.
Recently, my hula students came up with the idea to host a Summer Luau Event to raise funds for foster children. We are working together with our community to help make life a little better for foster kids, adopted kids, kinship families and groups that support needy kids and families. Our class is making a difference and I am very proud of how far we have come.
I guess I was inspired by God. I truly believe in the Almighty and trust that he has given me direction and that I am in the place I am supposed to be. While I was a foster child I felt abandoned but we were lucky to get a loving Christian foster family. I never really knew God until I went to church and got saved. I felt reborn and new. I was too young then to know His power but if you believe and trust with all your heart miracles can happen.
Sometimes terrible things happen to us in life. But we do not have to be consumed by them. Every one of us has the right to choose who we are and what we will become. We are not perfect and will make mistakes. The trick is to forgive ourselves and others so that we can move on. Life is not perfect but we can overcome all and be a better person. Let’s teach the world that a foster child is a gift and a graduate of unforeseen circumstances and that with the help, support and love of our community we can improve our lives and the lives of others. We are just people all shapes, ages, colors and sizes and each of us are unique with a special gift to offer.
I would like to end with a promise that you are in charge of who and what you become. Believe in yourself even when you think no one else does. Don’t be afraid to dream your dream no matter how big or small. Just go for it! We can be anything and we are only limited by our own imaginations…

Opal Morland
Graduate

A Message to children currently in foster care

Hmmm, where to Start? I just want you to know that the real meaning behind this is NOT about ME! It is to encourage YOU! I have been where you are, if you currently are in the foster care system, or where you have been if you have aged out of the system. You do not have to be a victim of your circumstances. I thought and believed that for a long time and it didn’t get me anywhere. I used to feel sorry for myself, and wondered why me? Why can’t I have a “normal” family? Then one day something powerful hit me and I started to think differently. I came across this quote that I love (author unknown).

“ Life is like photography, we develop from our negatives”

I started to apply that thought process to my life and wow, how it helped! Instead of feeling sorry for myself I started to be thankful even in the bad stuff!

I was born to an alcoholic and drug addicted mother and so my life was very unstable! I was in and out of foster care from the age of 5 until I aged out at 18. I saw things that most people would have only seen on television.  One night, my biological mom was so drunk that she took an empty wine bottle and smashed it over my Aunts head!  She would leave me alone and in charge of my younger siblings from the age of 5 while she went out to get her fixes. I was teased relentlessly from other kids for the clothes that I wore, but the truth is I was lucky to have any clothes at all since my mom spent all of our money on her fixes.  Instead of buying us the things we needed, she would take us to the store and tell us to stuff clothes down our shirts saying that this way she would not get in trouble for shoplifting. We would go through the same routine with food, having to steal it because she sold her food stamps for drug money.  Most kids do not have to wonder about how to get clothes to wear, food in their stomach, or if their parent is coming home, which was all in a typical day for me. To this day, drugs are still my biological mom’s first priority. I remember one time when she was getting ready to go out to the bar and my baby brother was crying. She was angry and took the iron and ironed his whole arm up.  He ended up with 3rd degree burns.  Episodes like that were not unusual, she was crazy while on drugs and angry while off them. I had to be a protector for my younger siblings, even though I was only in Elementary school myself.  Our life with her was very much like walking on eggshells all the time.

In some ways I, being an adult now am thankful that I did see that stuff.  I really believe that seeing those things prevented me from following the same destructive path! Those things scared me! Maybe had I not seen the destructive behavior I would have followed the same destructive path that many of my family had been on. I can proudly say that I am in my 40’s now and I have never touched an illegal drug in my life, nor am I an alcoholic. I have come a long way from the days of being in the projects and labeled as a troubled kid. I just want to encourage you that you also can “remove” the labels that you have been given and change all your negative circumstance and have them become positive ones. I am thankful that I can encourage others to know that we can be productive members of society. I have never been in trouble with the law. I have my own business. I have kids that are doing well and have not been in the system! Kids, that are loving and caring, and compassionate people.  Kids that have been on the honor roll, have been inducted into the national honor society, and kids that have skipped a grade.  Not typical of what society would have thought since I was a “foster” kid.  I volunteer time at the schools and at church and have done many things to help with the military, (not just because I am a military spouse) I am thankful that I can give back to the community.

I believe that there are several things that led me to where I am today, first of all I had had a few amazing people in my life that were kind to me and looked past the “label”. I know that many didn’t understand the full extent of my situation because I kept what I could to myself.  Of course, what I was unable to hide, they saw as when we had to change out in gym many saw the bruises up and down my back.  The why of it all, was not spoken of back then.  Now I can share the reason, which was because I wouldn’t smoke pot with my adoptive Dad’s new wife! Most parents would be grateful and praise their kids choosing not to engage in that behavior. I knew the destruction that life style had lead too. I was removed from the situation and my foster care journey began again, this time it was different, I had my high school Guidance counselor in my corner! She reached out to me and wanted me! She had asked my social worker if she could have custody of me! He said no, but that didn’t stop her, she then went to court and asked for custody of me .The Judge granted custody to her. There I finally found love, care and concern! She helped me realize that it wasn’t my fault! I did well while I was staying there, but she was not a certified foster home so my time with her there was short. Over the next four years I went around to numerous foster homes until I reached my 18th birthday, where I then was out on my own in this BIG World, I hadn’t even graduated high school yet, I was even told that I may not get to graduate, I was Like heck! I had not come that far not to get my diploma. My biological Mom had only had an 8th Grade education. I saw how she was on welfare and we lived in the projects and I was not going to follow any of that destructive cycle.

I look back at where I came from and the odds and statistics I have overcome and a lot of that is all because of the decisions and choices I did make.  As a child we were innocent victims, but as adults we control our destiny.  We can either choose to allow the past to rob us or embrace the obstacles that we have overcome and make those negative things positive. I know that many may judge and I want to tell you to stay far away from those people.  Find people that are caring people who accept you for who you are!  I was fortunate to have people in Elementary and Jr. High like that who saw beyond my circumstances and were true friends.

Recently on Facebook, I found some of them and it amazed me to hear, “You are the way I remember you! So filled with love”. Many said that they didn’t know what a hard life I had.  I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me! I didn’t want to be judged for things that I had no control over! If I can overcome all the adversity that I did you certainly can! Good Luck to you and God Bless!

Feel free to contact me via email declutterbuddy@aol.com.  There are wonderful sites like this FosterCareInAmerica.com that offers some great resources and others for you to reach out! Don’t let statistics scare you! You can beat them!  I truly believe that you can come from one of the best families and become a “mess” or you can come like me from one of the most messed up families and be a success.  It is really up to you what you do with your life, if you make better choices you can lead a fulfilled life. It is all up to you and what path you get on!

There were many people that helped me and have shown me unconditional love and acceptance; Grandpa John and Grandma Toni who love me and my children, without hesitation and I am forever grateful that I am blessed to be part of their family.

To my many friends, you are more like my family. I love you with all my heart and am thankful that I have you in my life as well. To my Children, you have been a huge blessing in my life and I am thankful for each and every one of you!

Our August feature comes to us from Michigan. Over the last two years, we have had the honor of sharing some truly inspirational former foster care alumni with you.  Our August feature marks the first time we have had a minor share the details of an experience in foster care.  Welcome Armond, he is 13 years old and has just published his first book and his mom shared that he did it almost completely on his own (99% of the work by himself).

Name: Armond DeGasperis

State: Michigan

Occupation:  Middle School Student and Author

Website:  http://theendisthebeginning.book.tripod.com/

Book:  The End is the Beginning

In His Own Words

What makes my book “The end is the beginning” unique is- The fact I am 13 years old.  I wrote it, have the capability to self publish and now market it completely on my own.  When I first began to write my book people asked me, ”what is your main goal?”  I said, to write a book of hope from a teenager’s point of view.  To write something that is not filled with technical jargon.  I believe my reader friendly style of writing makes my book something that people want to read.  My predominate aim was to realize my own potential, develop my abilities and prove my capability.  This book truly helped explain “ME” to “MYSELF”.

About His Book

Michigan, July 23, 2010 – New book by 13-year-old author tells the story of extreme child abuse and survival. Armond DeGasperis speaks up to protect other children from the horrors of childhood trauma and abuse.

An innocent child, the product of two completely self-destructive people, born into a life of abuse and total dysfunction. Meet the 13-year-old survivor of excruciating pain and total victimization. This book is a symbolic release of accumulated weight carried from a painful past. In coming forward, the hope is to derive something positive from something so painful for the author. Reaching out- beyond oneself as nothing more than a survivor to help raise awareness for all abused and neglected children.

About the Author

Armond DeGasperis went through what was said to be one of the most dreadful cases of abuse.  Armond is the 13-year-old survivor of the darkest, most disturbing violations and experiences imaginable. Take a chilling look into his early childhood that was filled with sadness, nightmares and terror. Sense his unforgettable shame, feel the excruciating pain given by one’s own parents. These repulsive crimes are so hideous that at times they may throw you off guard. Witness first hand the effects abuse and neglect have on a child’s mind, body, and spirit. Armond’s compelling, passionately honest tale will shock you. Now imagine, overcoming all those odds and learning to forgive and embrace that past. You will be inspired by his harrowing true story of survival – The End is the Beginning.

He is a 13 year old teen on a mission to provide hope to others. He is currently enrolled in the seventh Grade at Middle School North. He  specializes in compelling stories that are easy to read and understand.

He is based in Chesterfield Michigan where  he lives with his Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother and a pack of four unruly dogs.

Our July feature comes to us from Ohio.  She spent her childhood in the foster care system.  LaTasha is best known as a professional advocate, serving the foster care community and has won numerous honors for her endless dedication to children. One of her greatest achievements is the creation of a wonderful website called “The Purple Project” which is a support source for former and current foster alumni.

Name: LaTasha C. Watts

State: Ohio

Occupation:  Child Advocate and Mentor/Motivational Speaker/Future Author

Website: www.latashacwatts.com and www.thepurpleproject.org

LaTasha Watts

Most people wake up each day with a mom, a dad or some form of a family structure. But for some of us in the foster care system the reality of this type of life is few and far in between………I barely remember important parts of my life, it’s as if those parts never existed. I own no baby pictures of myself and only acquired a few pictures during my adolescence & teen years. It’s as if a whole section of my life disappeared. I grew up my entire life in the foster care system, struggling to grasp the concept, drifting in and out of relationships and trying to find what one would call normal. On top of it all, I still had to endure the normal stages that children and teens generally face throughout their developmental years. Being in care was no picnic for me. While I did not bounce around from place to place, I did face more turmoil while being in care from deaths, exposure to molestation, drugs and even turning to alcohol all before the age of 15.

I officially aged out of the foster care system at the age of 18, two days shy of my 19th birthday and a day after graduating from high school. But by then I was lost, alone and broken. And the system that once kept my mere existence alive had vanished. One would think that the system that put me here would have prepared me better for the world in which I was about to face. After aging out of the foster care system, I experienced a form of homelessness, living from place to place, without a stable place to call my own. Not to mention I lacked the essential skills that most people take for granted: cooking, washing clothes, paying bills, maintaining a bank account and even holding down a job for more than a week. Life became “survival of the fittest” for me. I learned how to manipulate any situation, to get the results that I needed “survival tactics,” or a “hustle” one might call it. Whatever you call it it’s definitely not a place you want to be. A whole year after exiting the system, I finally caught a break, a sigh of relief, there was a program that was designed for people just like me. At least until the age of 21, I could finally be free! I could attend college for an entire year, have a place to stay and most importantly I could eat. But I was forgetting one crucial factor, that college at the time was not right for me. Like many foster kids I struggled to get out of high school and although I did receive a high school diploma, keep in mind that so many of us do not. Unfortunately, college was the last thing on my mind, I spent the next year living on campus, never going anywhere, especially during the holidays and school breaks, all because I had no place to be. I was eventually kicked out of college. And would then spend the next two years in a controlling relationship, being diagnosed with OCD, having a kid, becoming a single mother and battling Cancer all by the mere age of 23.

A lot has changed since then; it has been approximately 17 years, since I have “aged out” of the foster care system. My Life is much different now, I have triumphed over adversity. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the importance of making a difference in someone’s life. That difference came for me, with the creation of The Purple Project (sm), which is a support network that I designed to help change the negative outcomes that many of us face after being a part of the foster care system.“Being in the system does not mean that you are alone!”

For more information regarding, LaTasha’s story and The Purple Project (sm) or if you would like to book LaTasha as a speaker or a panelist at your event, please email lcwatts@thepurpleproject.com.

Our June feature comes to us from New York.  She spent her childhood moving from one abusive home to another in the foster care system, 9 homes total.  As is the case with many former foster care children, Capri had to learn life skills on her own and she had to learn how to LIVE life and that she did!  Please welcome Capri…….

Name: Capri Cruz

State: New York

Occupation:  Life Coach/Motivational Speaker/Author

Website:  http://www.lifecoachcapri.com

My name is Capri and I spent my whole life in abusive homes to include about 9 different foster homes. At 19, I joined the US Navy and spent the next 17 years running from my life because I couldn’t get a hold of it. Basic things that other people could comprehend, I could not, like “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” or “learn to be happy”. Happy, how could I learn to be happy? I spent my whole life unhappy, what the heck were these people talking about? So I self-medicated with alcohol. Over the years I did attend college but I had no real direction in life. My brother always beat in my head to get out of the military and be my own person, but again, I had no clue how to do that. So one day I decided to write a book about my experiences in foster care called You Were Born to Reflect Greatness and guess what! At the age of 39, I finally realized what my life’s problem was. I lived in the same fear at 39 that I did when I was 13 being sexually abused by my grandfather, which was the same fear that was originally created by living with chemically dependent parents who left me in foster care to be physical and emotionally abused. Fear was my enemy. It had infiltrated my mind, spirit, my mouth and my muscles. Fear stopped me from understanding that my life had become what it did because of the choices I was making (and lack of positive choices I was making). I was an extra in my own life instead of the main character. But today, that is not so. I’ve raised a wonderful daughter, I am an author, I have my Masters degree in Professional Counseling, I’m a life coach (http://www.lifecoachcapri.com) – (see my free articles and special report), I’m retiring from the U.S. Navy, I own my own home, I have plans to create a national organization to advocate for foster children and a million more plans for my future like becoming a professor and completing my PhD but most of all, the one thing that makes me a success story is that I’ve finally learned how to heal myself and experience true joy. I am the happiest person I know in this world. I do not hold any grudges against the people that harmed me, I’ve learned to forgive so I can move on, I practice dumping all negative energy and only surround myself with positive people now to include my 2 best friends. I am a success story because I finally realized that I co-control my destiny with God. I do not have to live in my fears of yesterday and nothing; absolutely nothing in this world is out of my reach. If I believe in something with all my heart and I speak it into existence with my mouth, while taking action everyday to achieve it, I know I can do anything I want in this world. I am free and no one will ever hurt me again because I’ve learned to set boundaries to keep negative people out of my life and I’ve created standards for the people I let in my life! I know my God loves me and I am powerful. This is my definition of success!

Our May feature comes to us from New York. She was in foster care from age five through twenty-one. As you read her story, it will become clear why she is a remarkable example of a survivor. Please welcome Tanya …….

Name: Tanya Cooper

State: New York

Occupation: Author/Motivational Speaker/Child Advocate

Website: tanya-onthetown.blogspot.com

Tanya Cooper

I am 45 years old with 2 beautiful girls, ages 13 and 21. I went to the Fashion Institute of Technology (F.I.T.) in New York City for 2 years. During my time at F.I.T. I was awarded a contract as a Runway Model in Paris. After returning to the states, I went back to school and graduated from New York University in 1996.

My Time in Foster Care

I was in foster care from age 5-21. My mom was a heroin addict and alcoholic who would leave us for weeks without food and sometimes lights. I have 4 siblings and my 5 year old sister became our mother; changing diapers and stealing food for us to eat. By the time we came into the foster care system, we were malnourished. We had never been to school or around many people as we only left the house to steal food. Once in awhile, we would be able to go and get food from one of my mom’s 9 siblings, (all but 3 of them were on drugs). My baby brother (who would now be 41) was adopted when he was around 2 or 3 so he only spent the first couple of years with us in foster care. My other brother Rob, I grew up with and we stayed together until I was 18. At this point, I left my 2nd foster home after it was DISCOVERED that I was being molested by two of the foster brothers and used as a sex slave for years, since age 9. My sister who I have contact with now, is doing okay and learning to enjoy life.

Tanya's Modeling Days in Paris

After Foster Care

In addition to the challenges I faced in foster care, I have also survived being homeless two times, being a single mother, and having cancer. For the last 8 years I was a substance abuse counselor working with adolescents and kids over 15. I recently finished writing a book about my story of survival called “Surviving foster care & Making it work for you!” I hope to have it published by Summer of 2010.

My Mission

I am trying to make a difference in foster kids lives because it is hard without family. My brother Rob just died in July (just before his 42nd birthday) of heart disease. He was my favorite person, always lifting me up when we were kids. I survived because he always knew how to pick me up. Imagine a kid who does not have anyone to pick them up? I want to do seminars and teach kids that no matter what happens, get back up and live your best life now!

Rob

Growing up in the system was no easy task. Remembering what it was like as a foster kid, wondering around in the dark, never knowing the answers to life. I want to share words of encouragement, help anyone who was in foster care and I want kids to start taking control of their lives now. Please view my blog of encouragement: tanya-onthetown.blogspot.com.

Our April feature comes to us from Tennessee.  She was in foster care for over twelve years and gives tremendous credit for her achievements in life to God and the Christian principles she learned from the United Methodist Home for Children that took her in.   Please welcome Rozetta…….

Name: Rozetta Mowery

State: Tennessee

Occupation:  Author/Motivational Speaker/Child Advocate

Book:  Tragedy in Tin Can Holler.

Website:  www.tragedyintincanholler.com

Rosie with her sisters when they entered the foster care system.

I spent over twelve years of my childhood in foster homes in northeast TN.  It was a Holston United Methodist Home child in Greeneville, Tennessee.  The Christian principles and teachings and faith in God, which I learned from the Holston United Methodist Home for Children, always remained with me and formed a strong foundation that helped me to survive all of the hardships I faced in my lifetime.  Even though all the odds were against me, I survived and become a productive and responsible member of society.  I was determined to prove to myself and others that there are no brick walls.  I  never wanted to be labeled, “one of those kids”, whether it was because I came from a place called Tin Can Holler or because I was a foster child.  I graduated from high school in 1970 as a member of the National Honor Society and was on my own at the age of eighteen.  In 1973 I moved to Florida where I became a Florida Realtor and worked in the executive field for major corporations in Florida.

In 2006, after raising my 3 children, I sold my home and quit my job in Florida and returned to the place of my birth in Athens, TN and to the little community where I lived that was called Tin Can Holler, to find out the truth about my family and why my father murdered my mother when I was 7 years old.   I was traumatized with my findings and knew in my heart that God had brought me back to my roots for a purpose and that was to help others.  I wrote my family story titled “Tragedy in Tin Can Holler” to help other people and to send a message to all those who are living in domestic violence.

Discovering the truth about my family sent me on a mission that I never envisioned.  Today I am a writer, published author and motivational speaker for all ages.  I’m also an advocate speaker against child abuse and domestic violence.  I volunteer my time to assist with fundraisers that promote and support domestic violence programs and children shelters.  I’m also a spokesperson for CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) for children in the states foster care programs and the United Methodist Homes for Children nationwide. In addition, my book is required reading for all the foster parents in the jurisdiction of the Holston United Methodist Home for Children, which is in the Holston Conference.

Message to all Foster Children

Rozetta (Rosie) Mowery Today

My message to all foster children is for them to know and believe that they can do and be whatever they desire as long as they stay focused on their goals….it does not matter where they come from or what they have been through.  They must not be afraid to ask for help.  My best advice would be, “Get a mentor”….that could be a teacher, preacher, coach, a business man or woman that they admire who is successful, and always socialize with people who have also set goals for themselves.  Always avoid drugs and alcohol and most important,  believe in God and include him in your daily activities and devotions.

Rosie as a teenager in foster care.

Our March feature comes to us from Tennessee.  He is an accomplished recording artist with a passion for raising awareness in America for the issues faced by homeless youth.  He is widely recognized for his beautiful remake of the Hall and Oats classic; “Sara Smile”, which is more than just another hit song for the artist.  Jimmy is all too familiar with foster care and group homes, having survived an abusive step father,  a mother in prison, and falling through the many cracks of the system, he ended up as a homeless teenager.  It was by the grace of god that a couple took him in during his mid teen years and offered him stability, faith, an opportunity to get an education and a place to call home.

Jimmy is currently on the road, traveling across the country on foot, promoting his “Meet Me Halfway” campaign.    There are two very detailed articles included below.  The first tells you all you need to know about his passion for bringing awareness to the many homeless children and the issues surrounding them.  The second details the story of his past, and the importance his favorite song has played in his life.  Please welcome Jimmy…….

Name: Jimmy Wayne

State: Tennessee

Occupation:  Country music recording artist and homeless youth advocate

Favorite source of inspiration:  Raising awareness and money to benefit organizations that assist homeless youth.

Jimmy Wayne

ARTIST WANTS TO RAISE AWARENESS OF HOMELESS PLIGHT AND MONEY TO BENEFIT ORGANIZATIONS THAT ASSIST HOMELESS YOUTH

Country music recording artist Jimmy Wayne  launched his “Meet Me Halfway” campaign on January 1, 2010 when he began his solo walk halfway across America in Nashville, TN.  Wayne’s intention is not only to raise awareness of the plight of the homeless, especially at risk children, teens and young adults, but also raise funds for organizations that benefit homeless youth, including HomeBase Youth Services, a Phoenix, AZ — based organization that provides essentials for homeless young adults. Wayne began the walk at 10:00 a.m. CT on January 1st at Monroe Harding in Nashville, another organization that services at risk children and young adults. He plans to walk to Phoenix, AZ.

Road Support Sponsor

“I realize beginning a mission like this in the dead of winter and walking through the middle of the country is going to be difficult, but I hope and pray I am up to the challenge,” Wayne said. “It’s going to be cold, rainy and maybe even snowing and that ground I sleep on at night is going to be really hard. But that’s what the homeless are dealing with each and every winter they go without a home of their own.  Our country is too great for us to have people who are suffering so.  And events of the past 12 to 14 months have increased the number of people—especially children and young adults—without a safe place to sleep. We as a nation have got to end homelessness and we’ve got to help these kids.”

Young Jimmy holding his nephew.

Wayne grew up in a variety of foster and group homes, and occasionally found himself homeless as a teen. He was given a second chance when Bea and Russell Costner gave him a home and fresh start when he was only 16 years old. He has never forgotten the generosity of the couple, who were in their 70′s when they took Wayne in.  “Bea and Russell took a chance on me, and I was certainly no poster child for adoption,” Wayne said. “I was this teenager with long hair and tattoos, but they saw past that to the scared kid I was. They met me halfway by offering me a place to live and the opportunity to go back to school.  But in turn I had to meet them halfway by helping myself, which meant studying, doing chores and following the rules. They provided me with a way to help myself make a life. They gave me a home, love and respect.”

Wayne’s concern for the welfare of the homeless has deepened and accelerated during the past year, with so many people losing their homes to decaying real estate and financial markets.  “It’s been really hard to sit still and watch everything going on in our country since last year’s troubles on Wall Street began,” Wayne said. “While so many of these people received bailouts, and even bonuses, blue collar and Middle America has suffered. From my past,I know first hand what the homeless are experiencing—no roof over your head, no real certainty that there will be any food for the day and just hoping the pair of shoes on your feet lasts another winter. No one in this country should be faced with that kind of situation — especially kids.  But unfortunately thousands of people are going though this each and every day.”

Wayne selected HomeBase Youth Services as the recipient of any donations people care to make because of the work they do with homeless young adults (age 18 –21).  Like most charitable organizations, HomeBase has also been hit hard by the economic woes of the country. HomeBase is an Arizona-based, non-profit organization founded in 1991 to address the growing needs of at-risk and homeless youth age 21 and younger.  At age 18, many youth “age out” of the foster care or juvenile justice systems without the necessary life skills to live independently; as a result, they quickly end up homeless and on the streets.  Other youth choose to flee their homes after years of mental, physical and emotional abuse or neglect.  HomeBase addresses the needs of this “forgotten” population, and assists these promising young people with the tools they need to live healthy, independent lives.  The programs and services include Street Outreach, Mobile Medical Outreach, Employment and Life Skills Training, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Care, a Resource Center, a Transitional Living Program and an Independent Living Program.  The mission of HomeBase Youth Services is to teach at-risk and homeless youth how to become self-sufficient adults.

“Because I was helped when I needed it, I want to try and help now,” Wayne said. “If the bit of celebrity I have can help me raise awareness of this situation –that there are kids and young people out there who need our help, then I feel like I have accomplished my goal.  I’m not asking people to come out and walk with me, but I am asking them to meet me halfway by getting involved– donate money, adopt a kid, learn more about the foster child/foster parent program in your local community.  There’s so much one person can do, and so many ways they can make a difference. It just takes one person to help someone to a better life.”

“Sara Smile” is more than another hit record for Jimmy Wayne. Much more.

“For 13 years, I have been singing that song,” he explains. “I sang it on the prison yard when I worked at the prison. Even though I didn’t write it, I sang it at writers’ nights in Nashville. It is the song that taught me how to play the guitar. In 2002, I sang ‘Sara Smile’ for Scott Borchetta, and he gave me a record deal. This song has had a major impact on my life.”

Jimmy Wayne’s remake of the Hall & Oates pop classic is now the centerpiece of an album that showcases his formidable talents as both a vocalist and a songwriter. His soulful singing permeates every note of such soaring, powerful ballads as “All the Time in the World,” “Belongs to You” and “Counting the Days.” He rocks splendidly on “There’s a Memory” and “Things I Believe.”

As a songwriter, Jimmy Wayne is uplifting and inspirational on “Just Knowing You Love Me.” He is soft, romantic and dreamy in “Just Look at You.” “Elephant Ears” is touching and tender. In “I’ll Never Leave You,” which he wrote alone, he finds a new way to explore a loving relationship.

The new album caps what has been an extraordinary year for Jimmy Wayne. “Do You Believe Me Now” soared to the top of the country charts, was No. 1 for three weeks and became one of the biggest hits of 2008-2009. He toured with Brad Paisley and Dierks Bentley and played Madison Square Garden. Nashville Lifestyles magazine named him one of its “Beautiful People of 2009.”

“It’s been amazing,” he says gratefully. “It just goes to show you what perseverance can do. That, plus having a great team.”

In 2008, Jimmy Wayne’s career was stone cold. “Do You Believe Me Now” turned him into one of the greatest comeback stories in modern country-music history.

Adversity is nothing new to this gifted artist.  As his fans know, Jimmy Wayne survived a turbulent, abusive childhood. His father abandoned the family. His mother went to prison, and he was shuttled to a series of foster homes. His stepfather tried to murder him. He was a homeless teen, living by his wits on the street.

“I became very independent. I had to depend on myself. Folks ask me why I don’t drink. It’s because I needed and wanted to be very conscious of what I was doing at all times. That’s what helped me to survive.”

A North Carolina couple named Russell and Beatrice Costner took him in and encouraged his evolving love of music. At the time, he was singing and writing in a variety of styles, rock, country and even rap and opera.

“When I was about 15, I was on a school bus. I was just kind of staring out the window and singing a song. A girl in front of me turned around. She asked, ‘Is that you singing? That was really good.’ I was real shy. I’ve always been a loner. I never had any friends. I just never was the type of person to reach out to people. I spent a lot of time in my bedroom alone, playing music and writing. That day, I remember standing there and, like, hearing my singing voice for the first time.

“Then when I was in the 12^th grade in high school, there was a convict from a local prison who came to our school. He was in a Think Smart program. He played and sang and told his story. All the years prior, I’d been experimenting with different styles of music. I was writing stories, which were songs. But I really didn’t know what to call them. When I saw that convict sing, I looked around and saw everybody in that auditorium being very moved. I remember saying to myself, ‘That’s what I want to do, exactly what he’s doing.’ He called it ‘country music.’ He said, ‘I’m a country singer.’ I’m like, ‘Really? I guess that’s what I am, too.’ That led to me getting a guitar.”

Jimmy Wayne worked his way through school in a textile mill. Then he became a North Carolina prison guard. Talent scouts from Nashville’s Opryland theme park came through his area, auditioning potential performers.

“I showed up, and I was the very last person to audition. Mike Whelan was there from the Opryland Music Group. I told him I wrote, but I forgot the words to the song. Then I sang ‘Love Me’ by Collin Raye and a Garth Brooks song, ‘Papa Loved Mama.’”

That audition led to an offer for him to write songs for the Opryland Music Group’s famed Acuff-Rose firm. He turned in his resignation at the prison, moved to Nashville on a Sunday morning in 1998 and started writing songs full time that Monday.

“I didn’t even know what a publishing company was. When I got here, I knew I wasn’t ready. But as much of a loner as I was, I wasn’t afraid to talk to people so that I could learn.”

He concentrated on improving his guitar playing, his vocal style and his songwriting skills. In 1999, Tracy Byrd had a hit with “Put Your Hand in Mine,” which Jimmy Wayne co-wrote with Skip Ewing. Three years later came that fateful audition with “Sara Smile,” which led to a recording contract with DreamWorks Records. His debut CD appeared in 2003 and spawned the top-10 hits “Stay Gone” and “I Love You This Much,” plus the top-20 chart successes “You Are” and “Paper Angels.” The last-named won him the William Booth Award from the Salvation Army in 2005 and has since become a perennial holiday favorite.

But DreamWorks shut its doors in 2005, and Jimmy Wayne’s career momentum was stopped abruptly. Former DreamWorks executive Scott Borchetta offered him a new contract with the Valory Music Company. But it took awhile to find the right comeback vehicle.

“I was in survival mode. I didn’t panic. I thought, ‘I have got to write and I have got to look for the right songs. It all comes down to a song.’ I knew that much. I said, ‘I have got to find THE song, and I won’t stop until I do.’ It was stressful. There was nothing going on. I was donating a lot of my time to charity and playing as much as possible. I was off the radar for three or four years, just trying to find that huge song that was, hopefully, going to get me a resurrected career. And then I stumbled across ‘Do You Believe Me Now,’ and, of course, that became the song. That was the comeback.”

It was followed by “I Will,” which also became a hit. While recording the songs for both the Do You Believe Me Now and Sara Smile albums, Jimmy Wayne worked with a variety of producers. But the sheer power of his performances make both albums into seamless listening experiences.

“I have been given this gift,” he says quietly. “And I want to use it well. I’ve been given this great opportunity. I want to go back and give hope through my music, somehow. I visit these homes, and I talk to these kids as young adults. It’s one of my passions. It’s hard, but I actually enjoy doing that.

“My goal is to build a foundation based on hit songs. Someday, I’d like to build an orphanage for kids who are too old to be adopted.

“I don’t see myself as anything like a ‘star.’ I don’t think that I’m better than the person I’m singing to. I’m just doing what I love to do. And the fans are the reason I’m allowed to do it.

“Sometimes it’s just wild the way things work out. There was this really good baseball player in our high school. We used to go down to the grocery store and wait for our girlfriends who worked there to come out on breaks. I asked him, ‘So what do you want to do when you get out of high school?’ He said, ‘I’d like to go to college or become a professional baseball player.’ He asked me what I wanted to do. And I said, ‘I want to be a professional country singer.’

“We didn’t stay in contact. The day I got my record deal, I remember I was celebrating by myself. I went down to the Longhorn restaurant and ordered a sweet potato and a sweet tea. I opened the sweet potato, and I took out a scoop. I looked up at the television screen, and there was a Braves game on, and he was standing on the pitcher’s mound! It said, ‘Millwood’ on the back of his shirt. I will never forget that feeling that I had.

“Kevin Millwood. He is with the Texas Rangers now. He did what he said he was going to do. And, now, so was I. Strange the way things turn out. A couple of years later when I was back home, I saw him. We just shook hands and laughed. He is so unassuming, just a good ol’ country boy. But it was like, ‘Dude! We did it!’”

Our February feature comes to us from California.  She was in foster care from 5 years old until she aged out of the system (18 years old) about 5 years ago.  We are grateful for her detailed account and her bravery in sharing her life with us.    Please welcome Maddy…….

Name: Maddy Magdalene

State: California

Occupation:  Future Writer/Photographer

Favorite source of inspiration:  Enjoys writing and photography.  Favorite author is Ronald Dahl.

Young Maddy

I was born into an unhappy, violent, abusive home to drug addicted parents. Fortunately, many of my extended relatives offered help as they could during my early years, though it was still a rocky start.  Also, my paranoid and drugged mother refused to allow me to stay with them when she went to jail one night, and that was my first experience with the foster care system.  I was about five.  My parents had long since separated, my father died a few years after, and i was left with my mentally ill mother and her abusive boyfriend, whose first baby she was about to have.  Any help the relatives offered would never be enough, and as all involved realized this, we drifted apart.

Soon it was just my half siblings, my stepfather, mom and I, and since my parents were wary of strangers, I didn’t really have anything to compare my pathetic life with.  We could never stay in one place, there was always a problem with the landlord, and I was constantly the “new kid” at school.  We lived in some pretty bad neighborhoods.  There was constant fighting, screaming and throwing and hitting and pushing.  I knew by now this wasn’t normal but the one time I tried calling the police I received a sharp slap to the face and made to call right back.  My job was to do my chores, watch the babies when the grown ups went out, and keep my mouth shut.

In the midst of all this, I began to struggle with Manic Depression.  Mental illness runs in my family but feeling suicidal at the age of eight is simply not normal.  Along with the depression and rage came hallucinations and confusion, plus a lot of other things that made it hard for me to communicate my situation.  CPS kept taking my half siblings to foster care but leaving me to fend for myself.  I was hurt and confused but I was too scared to speak up.  I mostly just kept to myself during this time, my nose stuck in one book or another.  Classmates teased me and called me “Matilda”.  I don’t know if you’ve heard of that book, it’s by Roald Dahl.  I’ve always liked Roald Dahl as many of the children in his tales escape a terrible fate, and to me as a young child the thought was quite comforting.

Finally, years later, we moved to another state  and after months, maybe more of fighting, abuse, etc…my mom finally got rid of my sibling’s dad, and a vicious battle for custody began.  Unfortunately, I was lost in the fray.  This time of my life is a blur of images with a lot of missing pieces…me alone in my room trying to block out the screaming…counseling with my mom that was way too late to help matters…bouncing from basement apartment to motel to living in a school bus on a friend’s property…starting respite care with a great family…overdoses…hospitalizations…all this before my twelfth birthday.  Finally I called my grandparents in CA and they flew me down immediately.  However, after my life of freedom with a parent who’s too wasted to care what their kid does, I felt strangled in this house where I wasn’t even allowed to say “darn”.  So, I did what I knew worked: told them I wanted to go back to my mother or i’d kill myself.

The cops were called, I spent some time in the hospital, and was soon on a plane back to the mountains, where my mother and her new boyfriend waited.  I could smell alcohol on her breath, and my stomach sank.  I didn’t even last two weeks before I was carted out of there on a stretcher and soon I was to be sent to a real institution.

My caseworker and mom drove me, if i recall correctly, but i didn’t stay long.  As soon as I turned 13, I was moved to the adolescent wing, where the older girls had plenty of fun picking on me.  I had been “cutting” for some time but soon I learned more ways to harm myself.  When my mom saw my mottled arms and thighs, she pulled me from the program.

I was placed in day treatment, where I excelled not only at all my school work but managed often to daily disrupt everyone as well, somehow.  Some days, I just went back home, to the motel, and on one of these days I took a large number of pills I found on the counter and that is all I recall.

The day treatment closed and I was thrust into public school without a clue.  I got a 504 plan, and was placed in a girl’s therapy group.  I promptly began getting ISS, then simply began skipping school to go hang out with older kids, and my much older boyfriend.  Then I decided too run away.  What did not cross my mind was that not many places welcome 13-year old runaways.  I got a friend to come with, and we dyed our hair in a public bathroom so people wouldn’t recognize us.  Unfortunately, all the speed I was doing (I was afraid of sleeping) caught up to me one afternoon and I fell down and had a seizure right in the middle of a nice neighborhood.  An ambulance was summoned, and at the hospital my friend’s father came to get her.  I was alone, and they wouldn’t treat me because I was a minor and when they entered my name something must have come up, because soon I was being lead out of the hospital and shoved into a police car, handcuffed and dizzy.  During the short drive to the place we were staying all I remember is the cops angrily telling me what an ingrate I was, that I should be glad to have such a nice mom who cared enough to go looking for me?  Then she answers the door, I could barely see her in her nightgown, and soon the cops are sheepishly returning to tell me I am going to respite care for the night so things can cool off.

Next thing I know, mom’s disappeared and left me.  I’m placed in a home with an amazing lady who wants to adopt me, but is moving to connecticut, already finalizing her first adoption of a girl just a little younger than myself and who is having F.A.E. symptoms so severe that she was currently hospitalized.  I’m just glad to have someone who seems to genuinely care in my life, and soon my grades and behavior are improving drastically.  Next thing i know I’m being carted off to a “wilderness camp” for behaviorally challenged youth.  The respite care has failed.  Therapeutic foster homes have failed.  I’ve burned my bridges.  My last foster mom promises if i can keep it together she will bring me to connecticut.  I don’t believe her or a word any adult says.  I feel tricked and trapped.  I am the youngest one and I have just lost my mother (she is in jail somewhere last i heard).  This whole situation is too much.  I lose it.

Unfortunately for me, unbeknownst to me at this time I have been transferred from a local agency to DPHHS, and am now a ward of the state.  The woman in charge of making decisions about my life, where I stay or go, all that has been handed to her in what I assume must have been a hefty file.  Even more unfortunate, is the sad fact that I will not find out until many years later: she’s got around ninety of these cases, just as bad or worse than mine.  I can count on one hand the times I’ve met this woman, and she made every major decision of my life without even consulting me once. and this in a state where the population is fairly low.  This is the reason I chose not to study social work: I entertained the idea briefly but came to the conclusion that it would only make me tired and more bitter.  I decided the next best thing is to speak up, get my story heard, and hopefully get some others to, as well, so we can all learn from our mistakes.

The years I spent as a ward of the state are a nausea-inducing blur to me: first there was the lockdowns, the therapy you didn’t want, and the pills you had to take.  Being a teenage girl is hard enough and having to take pills that  make you get acne and gain weight do nothing to help, that I could see. Initially I was wild, going from silent and sullen to out of control, running around, breaking everything I could get my hands on.  I spent many hours being held against my will, by the bodies of the staff or straps buckled to beds and the like.  I always finished my schoolwork early and correctly- no problems there.  Once in a while I would be released to a lower level of care – a group home, in my case usually a therapeutic group home, but I never made it to public school, and there was always someone telling me what to do, when, and often how.

In short, I became institutionalized.

As my seventeenth birthday approached, I found myself in a meeting with my treatment team at a well known children’s hospital that also had a psychiatric unit.  I must have sold myself well, because soon I was packing my bags to a group home with a promise: succeed there and they help you pay for an apartment.  I faced a few challenges:  I had more than enough credits for a diploma but none of the institutions offered this service  so I would be forced to enroll for a semester in public school.  I immediately sought a program that helped foster kids get jobs by paying their wages for a few months, and got in, and did well.  I also managed to graduate high school with a 3 point something GPA, and did all the paperwork (with help of course) so that I literally graduated on a Friday and started college the following monday.  It was incredible.

Soon summer came and I was growing tired of the group home and impulsively, I bought a Greyhound ticket for Florida and nearly ended up in a very bad situation from which my grandmother rescued me with a plane ticket.  Unfortunately she also alerted the group home of my impending arrival, and with all the nasty things in my system and frustration over my situation, I snapped and took off.  Next move was to a receiving home type place, after which I was sent out of town, for fear I would call upon one of my friends and disappear again.  One month from my eighteenth birthday I spent my final summer as a kid going to horse therapy, doing chores, and going to bed at nine every night.  I was furious and stole bottles of cough syrup and spent hours in my room with my music loud, drinking and cutting.  The only thing I had to look forward to was going back to college- it was my only option at that point.  I had no where else to go, so I reserved my dorm, picked my classes, and waited like a good little girl until about two weeks before I turned eighteen when I was given an envelope from my social worker containing 20 dollars and a Greyhound ticket.

I packed my bags again.

Someone from the transitional living program was supposed to meet me at the bus station, but it was dark out and empty inside when I arrived so I used my precious twenty to call a cab. I had way too much to carry all the way across town to the dorms and no phone numbers with me.

I was soon informed that because I was not yet eighteen the transition program couldn’t legally help me.  They tried calling my social worker, to no avail. and the cruel reality of my situation sunk in.  One of the transition workers was nice enough to buy me a few things-detergent, shampoo, etc. but other than that I was on my own.  School started and I was not into it.  I felt no motivation and less than worthless.  On my eighteenth birthday I went out and met a bunch of nice people at a bar, and soon I was spending more time with them partying at night than I was in class or studying during the day.

After all this, I learned the school and state wanted their money back because I failed all my classes and was already on academic probation.  So, I pretty much have put aside that goal – for now.

A grown up Maddy - Ready and determined to take her life back.

Right now I am focusing on myself and realize I am all I have really, and it doesn’t even really make me a bit sad to say that.  I’ve got a lot of things to do: help people from repeating my mistakes, get my illness to the point where it’s manageable,  make a living doing what i really love  (writing and photography have become my outlet and my passion) and living life so I can have something to inspire me makes it all worth it.

Basically, my best personal advice is first, always get your needs met.  Do not be afraid to ask questions.  Be involved, it’s your life, and if you don’t catch yourself you’ll slip right through the cracks, much like I did.  Do everything you can before you come of age to learn about being an adult, because life is going to throw things your way and knowing how to deal with it just makes things that much simpler.

Next is to keep yourself and your dreams and desires close, but to also look at the bigger picture.  I know it can be hard, and it’s easy to say, “take it one day at a time”  but when you’re at the bottom of a barrel and your back’s against the wall, your one day might not do.  I know I have spent an inexcusable amount of time and effort being worried about my problems, my past, other people, what they think, etc. time wasted that I could have spent bettering myself.

I’m taking that time back now, because it’s mine.

Our January feature comes to us from Maryland.  She is the mother of 3, a strong believer in attending church and a dedicated animal shelter volunteer.   Please welcome Edna…….

Name: Edna Brady

State: Maryland

Occupation:  Federal Servant

Favorite source of inspiration:  Enjoys reading all kinds of inspirational stories and loves the movies Pay it Forward and Remember the Titans

Edna Brady

My name is Edna Brady.  I was in foster care from 18 months old to almost 18 years old.  I was in four different foster homes.  The last one I was in for 11 years.  I have five biological sisters (one deceased) and three biological brothers and one foster brother who I still consider a brother.

Even though my last foster father was a pedophile, he did make sure we went to church every Sunday.  I believe going to that church consistently, gave me a foundation of lifetime friends and mentors.  I still keep in touch with my Sunday School teachers.  Until recently, I never told anyone that my foster father was a pedophile and that his wife just accepted it.  I know part of me knew that I wouldn’t be believed and that I would be left in their care.

I felt a tremendous amount of shame and I was always embarrassed when a social worker came to school to pick me up for my monthly visits with my mom.  I felt like I was being hauled off to jail or something.  It made me stand out from the rest of the class.

When most teenagers found sanctuary in drugs and alcohol, I was reading books.  I don’t really know why I consistently said no to drugs.  It’s just something I didn’t want to do.  I did well in high school, being on the honor roll most of the time.  I graduated high school in 1979 at the age of 17.  The summer that I graduated high school, I worked at the high school until I went to nursing school in September.  While working at the high school, I made friends of some of the teachers.  I still keep in touch with them and visit them occasionally. I didn’t do well in nursing school.  I was so shy with everybody.  I was in a very strange environment and I didn’t have the support of family like the rest of my classmates.  If I had gone back to nursing school several years later, I believe that I would have done well.  I stayed in nursing school for 3 months.  After leaving nursing school my high school guidance counselor advised me to go in the military.  We spoke to a marine recruiter and I joined the marines at 18 years of age.  I currently have 23 years of federal service, including almost 2 years in the marines.

I have 3 children of whom I am very proud.  None of them have ever done drugs and they rarely drink alcohol.  My oldest daughter is a Staff Sergeant in the Air Force.  My youngest daughter is disabled and is doing well in an adult day program.  My son graduated from an automotive diesel college and is a diesel mechanic.

What I hope sharing my story will accomplish

Our December feature comes to us from Michigan.  He is an Assistant Professor of Social Work at Michigan State University and has published 4 books; In Whose Best Interest ?, God is in the Kitchen and other Everyday Miracles, Kids Who Outwit Adults, and his most recent is a joint publication with our November featured graduate Waln Brown called Growing up in the Care of Strangers that features stories from 11 different former foster care children.   Please welcome John…….

John --- Age 12 when he was ordered by the Court to leave Cleveland. He was put into long-term residential care in Michigan.

Name: John Seita

State: Michigan

Occupation:  Assistant Professor and Author

Marital Status:  Married

Website:  www.johnseita.com

Blog:   http://careofstrangers.blogspot.com

Favorite source of inspiration: Working towards changing Foster Care.

Book:  Growing Up in the Care of Strangers: The Experiences, Insights and Recommendations of Eleven Former Foster Kids

John  Seita holds a doctorate from Western Michigan University where a
scholarship for foster care alumni has been established in his name http://www.wmich.edu/fyit/scholarship.html.

Dr. Seita is a former youth at risk who beat the odds. He was removed from his mother’s home at the age of eight and spent the remainder of his childhood and adolescence in multiple foster homes, detention facilities, group care settings and on the streets. Abused and neglected as a child, his journey though children’s institutions and countless foster homes was a litany of degradation and humiliation.

His unrestrained anger at his mother and the child welfare system led to a childhood of bitterness, loneliness and one where he fought with adults, counselors, teachers, house parents, childcare workers and anyone else who crossed his path. His understanding of how to reclaim challenging youth is based upon his own journey of 15 placements out-of-home placements.

John has dedicated his life to teaching and training future social workers about the challenges and strengths of young people who are aging out of the foster care system. Drawing upon his own experience and leading edge research on evidence-based best practice, he has given workshops and keynote presentations across North America, Europe and Australia that have provided insight into evidenced-based practice and skill- building models for parents, teachers, social workers and others who are providing care to children and youth in the foster care system.  For more information on John’s bio, visit http://www.wmich.edu/fyit/about.html.

Our November feature comes to us from Florida.  He has just published a new book ( he has hundreds of publications under his belt) that features stories from 11 different former foster care children.  He is a great inspiration and a new friend.  Please welcome Waln…….

Name: Waln Brown

State: Florida

Occupation:  Foundation CEO and Author

Marital Status:  Married

Website:  www.williamgladdenfoundation.org

Blog:   http://careofstrangers.blogspot.com

Favorite source of inspiration: Working towards changing Foster Care.

Book:  Growing Up in the Care of Strangers: The Experiences, Insights and Recommendations of Eleven Former Foster Kids

Waln K. Brown was born in York, Pennsylvania, October, 1944, a “surprise” child of ill-matched parents who did the “right thing” and got married. For the next 11 years, they fought constantly, creating an unhealthy environment that adversely affected Waln emotionally and behaviorally. Rejected by his father for “ruining his life,” and confused by his mother’s obsessive-compulsive disorder of washing him in her “crazy clean” solution of Lysol and ammonia, Waln began a pattern of acting out that led to placement in an orphanage, juvenile detention home, state psychiatric hospital and juvenile reform school. A terrible student who spent eighth grade in special education and failed the ninth grade, Waln earned an A.S. degree from York College of Pennsylvania, B.S. from the Pennsylvania State University (summa cum laude) and M.A. and Ph.D. degrees from the University of Pennsylvania. He held positions with the Pennsylvania Department of Education, the National Center for Juvenile Justice and the Orthogenic School at the University of Chicago. Waln is the CEO of the William Gladden Foundation, and the author of over 230 books, articles and popular publications about youth and family issues. To learn more about the William Gladden Foundation and Waln’s latest book, “Growing Up in the Care of Strangers: The Experiences, Insights and Recommendations of Eleven Former Foster Kids,” visit the website and blog listed above.

FosterCareInAmerica.com has just finished reading about these Eleven, truly inspirational former foster care kids and highly recommends book:)

Our October feature comes to us from Tri-Cities, Washington.  She just started college in June of this year, determined to get an education and make a difference in the world.       Please welcome Jacqueline…….

Name: Jacqueline McKee

State: Washington

Occupation:  College Student

Favorite source of inspiration: Bob Marley

Legend-The Best of Bob Marley

Strong and determined. She is finding her way to greatness!

I entered foster care at the age of 13. I spent 5 years in foster care. In the time I was in foster care I spent 9 months in an institution, 5 months in a group homes, a total of about 2 months in juvenile hall and the rest of my time in various foster homes. I have a hard time calculating the number of homes I was in but my best guess would be about 15-18 different homes with at least 12 of the homes being within a 8 month period. What brought me to foster care was different than most children as I chose to go into foster care because the situation at home though on the outside looked good was unbearable on the inside. My time in foster care was very difficult as I knew I would never be going back home and due to the way the system works out I was not adoptable or eligible for guardianship.

I aged out of foster care at the age of 18 the day after I graduated high school. I was lucky enough to have foster parents who agreed to keep me 10 months after my 18th birthday so that I could graduate high school.

I am not sure how old I was when I decided that I would not be a person plagued by the unfortunate circumstances I found myself in but instead be empowered by them. I do know however that I have lived the past few years fighting to be a better person. It wasn’t until this year however that I finally put my foot down and truly fought back to not be the poor kid who lived through foster care but the adult who changed her life.

I started college in June of 2009, 4 years after I graduated high school. I want to change the world that we live in and for me a big problem is the health of those who cannot afford to fix it. I want to open hospitals for the uninsured that get them the proper attention they need but without the costs they cannot afford. Someday i would like to be a foster parent and help children and teens who are going through what I did.

I had a set of foster parents in particular who never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. I lived with them for the final 16 months of my foster care experience. They inspired me to want to be a foster parent but also to never give up on myself or anyone else. They loved every child who walked through their doors no matter what the child did and i hope to one day have even half the love they had.

I am not perfectly healed from my experience. I still have nightmares and I still cry from time to time but I never let it affect me past a few moments. I think it is important to let the hurt simply hurt but never to dwell on it. I cannot change what I went through but I can change my attitude about it and I believe that I have. Everyday I am a better person because I have chosen to overcome and chosen to make a change in others just as certain people did for me as a teen.

Jacqueline as a senior in high school. This amazing girl never stopped trying to become a better person despite being plagued by unfortunate circumstances.

If I could give any advice to children in foster care it would be to never give up. Sometimes it seems like you don’t have a voice and your opinion doesn’t matter and sometimes it seems like you are the one person who can’t decide whats right in your life, I know I have been there. I would suggest you speak up even if they still ignore you. Be stern with them on whats important to you. Every time you have a chance to go to court tell your lawyer you want to speak and tell the judge what you want and if they don’t listen the first time then do it again. Your voice may seem to fall of deaf ears but eventually someone will hear you and all you need is that one someone who will truly listen.

What you can see in this photo is the very lovely Channelle - What you cannot see is that she carried a mighty weight of adult issues on her tiny shoulders

I was raised by my single mother, who during my childhood became an alcoholic. This would lead to me being abused and neglected.  By the time I was 13 years old, I had to deal with my mother’s drinking, my father was in prison for two different murders, all of my grandparents had passed away, and I had been molested by both a family member and a close family friend. All of this would set the path for me being arrested and placed into the foster care system.  A year later, the court would terminate the parental rights of my parents and I became a ward of the state.

Despite the obstacles that my childhood produced, I was determined that I would make something of my life. At the age of 21, I became pregnant with my first child. It was at this time that I decided to go to college. And while attending college, I would give birth to my second biological child.

In May 2001, I earned my Bachelor’s of Art Degree from Norfolk State University. After I graduated, I moved to Atlanta, Georgia, where I started working for the State of Georgia as a Social Worker. The father of my children would end up following me to Atlanta.  Soon after his arrival, we ended up getting married.

I would go on to give birth to two more children during our marriage.  After suffering years of sexual abuse as a child, I discovered the man I married had a secret. He was a convicted child molester.  I immediately ended my marriage. After the marriage ended, I set out to fulfill a lifelong dream – to adopt a child in need of a family. I have since adopted three older children from the foster care system.
I am also taken care of one of my former foster sister’s children.

A true Inspiration, leading by miraculous example.

For most, the obstacles that I have faced would be enough to give up. However, despite my life challenges, I have gone on to not only survive, but also excel in my life. I now share my story and lessons learned with audiences of all ages in hopes of inspiring others that they too can succeed.

Our August Face of a Foster Care Graduate comes to us from the state of Florida.  I’m proud to introduce  a remarkable young lady named Ashley Rhodes-Courter.  Ashley spent her early childhood in foster care, being moved from home to home, a total of 14 placements!  At the tender age of 12, a wonderful couple gave Ashley what she (every child deserves) deserved and desperately needed; a loving mother and father and a place to call home.  I would like to extend my appreciation and gratitude to Gay and Phil Courter for being a shining light for Ashley.  As amazing as she is, you are the blessing that came along and helped her shine!  It is remarkable what love can do!  Meet Ashley…..

Name: Ashley Rhodes-Courter

State: Florida

Occupation: Speaker and Author

Advisory Boards:  Recently appointed as an adviser to Children Without a Voice USA -  http://www.childrenwithoutavoiceusa.org

Website: http://www.rhodes-courter.com

Ashley’s NY Times Best Selling book: Three Little Words: A Memoir

Favorite source of inspiration: Sharing here story with other foster children and promoting adoption.

A Truly Remarkable Leader

Ashley Rhodes-Courter was born in North Carolina in 1985 and entered the Florida foster care system at the tender age of three. Over the next nine years, she lived in 14 placements before being adopted at age 12 by Phil and Gay Courter of Crystal River, Florida.

Ashley just graduated with honors from Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Florida. She was the recipient of Eckerd’s Trustee’s Scholarship, their most prestigious full-tuition award. She has won several other national and local scholarships. She completed a double major in communications and drama with a double minor in political science and psychology.

At college, Ashley spent time in South Africa working with a children’s literacy project. In the local community she works with several organizations including the Heart Gallery of Pasco & Pinellas, also frequently doing on-camera work.

Ashley was the 2004 Youth Advocate of the Year for the North American Council on Adoptable Children and won the Child Welfare League of America “Kids to Kids” National Service Grand Prize. In 2004, she and her family jointly won the Angels in Adoption Award from the Congressional  Coalition on Adoption Institute and was nominated by Congresswoman, Ginny Brown-Waite.

On June 1, 2003, the New York Times Magazine published her grand prize winning essay, “Three Little Words” about her adoption day.  She expanded her essay into a memoir (also called “Three Little Words”) which has just been published by Simon & Schuster.

In 2007 she was one of 20 college students selected for the USA Today All-USA Academic Team. She also was one of the four GOLDEN BR!CK Award winners for outstanding advocacy by Do Something, and was named one of GLAMOUR Magazine’s Top Ten College Women.

Ashley has been featured on Montel Williams, Good Morning America, $.99 Cool Ranch Doritos bags, and other national and local television shows. She is currently maintaining a full calendar of speeches and workshops all across the country.  She has a passion to tell her story and share hope with other foster children and encourage adoption and permanency.

Special Message from Ashley

For the more than half a million children in foster care, and the 118,000 children waiting to be adopted. May they find as much love, happiness, and success as I have. I also want to thank the GOOD foster and adoptive parents for opening their hearts and homes to children. And without dedicated CASA’s, Guardian ad Litem, and other child welfare workers, so many more of us would fall through the cracks.

Ashley is an active motivational speaker

Ashley with children in Africa