Sometimes, we have experiences we’d like to share (but not our identity).  This is from a former foster care child who has offered a glimpse into a past that still proves difficult, as many of us can relate too.  For those of you who would like to correspond with this silent warrior, you may do so at fannyfarmer0@gmail.com.

“I really don’t want to make my name public. I don’t want to deal with the stigma of foster care or mental illness. I didn’t survive the system well. I’m not young any more by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m still struggling to build a life. As a kid, I lived in many foster homes–maybe as many as 20. It’s an ordeal to remember them all. Not one was a kind or caring environment. All were exploitive. Many were abusive. I think being a smart kid made it worse. My parents dumped me on the state when I was five. I stayed there until I aged out. I moved so often that I don’t feel as if I come from anywhere in particular, & I lack childhood friends. I battle depression & anxiety every day. I’ve spent decades in a dark rut. I’ve never met person who lived through what I did, though I’ve wanted to for most of my life.”

Dare to Dream
I am a graduate. Oh you may think that I am telling of high school or college but I am referring to my time as a foster youth seven to 10 years old. My time in the foster care system lasted about three years. I was afraid, ashamed, and never spoke about it to others. I didn’t want to hear whispers, be pitied, or tell others that my family was not functional.
I have decided to share my story because so many perceive foster kids as trouble with a capital T! Today, I am a successful wife, mom, grandmother and hula teacher. Hula teaching is my love and I share it to help bring awareness to needy kids and families.
I always wondered why God let this happen to me. I mean being a foster kid. Well I now believe I was given a gift and I have been in training my entire life so that I could help and inspire others. Not just foster youth but foster parents our community and anyone interested in helping kids. You see I have had a dream since seven years old to be a mom. I always knew that I would marry a wonderful man with dark hair and blue eyes; of course I didn’t know he would be bald now. I am just teasing because he is the first to laugh when I joke about him.
Our children include biological and foster/adopt children. I tell this because I want everyone to know that even though I did not conceive some of my children they are all our kids. We love them equally and I want society and most importantly our children themselves to know there is no shame in where they come from. As a parent I want them to be all that they can be and to follow their dreams. Most importantly, I want our children to respect and love who they are and what they can be. I want them to be able to share without fear of being condemned or ridiculed over something they had no control over.
I as a foster child was first afraid the day we were taken into custody. Nothing was explained to me and the fear of the unknown can make you go inside yourself. Next, I was fearful that kids in school would find out and I would not be accepted. But I was mostly fearful because I was the eldest of three siblings and I thought we were not going to be together. That is exactly what happened. When we were first taken into custody I didn’t know they put the boys in a separate area. I was going crazy not knowing where my little brother was and my sister was in a different section because of her young age. They did let my sister stay with me because she would not quit crying but I still did not know where our brother was. I finally found out recently, 40 years later, that he was having an adventure because he was with boys and not with his silly sisters!
Besides my family, one of my most proud accomplishments is my hula class. These are young men, women, kids and seniors helping to bring awareness to foster kids and families. Together we are a team helping others. It is such a joy for me to be able to teach my students the love of hula dance and love of others. I am so blessed with students who want to give back to our community. These past five years we have danced for cancer, abused children, the homeless shelter, made blankets for the Linus project, and brought joy to our seniors living in skilled living facilities. One of my most fond memories was sharing hula with young women held in custody at a Sheriffs detention center. We were very moved and proud that we could expose these young women to something they had never seen before. It was reported back to us that the Sheriffs detention center did not have any trouble with these young people for weeks after. I believe we only do what we know or have been shown to do. One of my own dancers told me after the performance that she was on the same path and that when she joined us it changed her life and lifestyle. I am very proud to have made a difference in her life.
Recently, my hula students came up with the idea to host a Summer Luau Event to raise funds for foster children. We are working together with our community to help make life a little better for foster kids, adopted kids, kinship families and groups that support needy kids and families. Our class is making a difference and I am very proud of how far we have come.
I guess I was inspired by God. I truly believe in the Almighty and trust that he has given me direction and that I am in the place I am supposed to be. While I was a foster child I felt abandoned but we were lucky to get a loving Christian foster family. I never really knew God until I went to church and got saved. I felt reborn and new. I was too young then to know His power but if you believe and trust with all your heart miracles can happen.
Sometimes terrible things happen to us in life. But we do not have to be consumed by them. Every one of us has the right to choose who we are and what we will become. We are not perfect and will make mistakes. The trick is to forgive ourselves and others so that we can move on. Life is not perfect but we can overcome all and be a better person. Let’s teach the world that a foster child is a gift and a graduate of unforeseen circumstances and that with the help, support and love of our community we can improve our lives and the lives of others. We are just people all shapes, ages, colors and sizes and each of us are unique with a special gift to offer.
I would like to end with a promise that you are in charge of who and what you become. Believe in yourself even when you think no one else does. Don’t be afraid to dream your dream no matter how big or small. Just go for it! We can be anything and we are only limited by our own imaginations…

Opal Morland
Graduate

A Message to children currently in foster care

Hmmm, where to Start? I just want you to know that the real meaning behind this is NOT about ME! It is to encourage YOU! I have been where you are, if you currently are in the foster care system, or where you have been if you have aged out of the system. You do not have to be a victim of your circumstances. I thought and believed that for a long time and it didn’t get me anywhere. I used to feel sorry for myself, and wondered why me? Why can’t I have a “normal” family? Then one day something powerful hit me and I started to think differently. I came across this quote that I love (author unknown).

“ Life is like photography, we develop from our negatives”

I started to apply that thought process to my life and wow, how it helped! Instead of feeling sorry for myself I started to be thankful even in the bad stuff!

I was born to an alcoholic and drug addicted mother and so my life was very unstable! I was in and out of foster care from the age of 5 until I aged out at 18. I saw things that most people would have only seen on television.  One night, my biological mom was so drunk that she took an empty wine bottle and smashed it over my Aunts head!  She would leave me alone and in charge of my younger siblings from the age of 5 while she went out to get her fixes. I was teased relentlessly from other kids for the clothes that I wore, but the truth is I was lucky to have any clothes at all since my mom spent all of our money on her fixes.  Instead of buying us the things we needed, she would take us to the store and tell us to stuff clothes down our shirts saying that this way she would not get in trouble for shoplifting. We would go through the same routine with food, having to steal it because she sold her food stamps for drug money.  Most kids do not have to wonder about how to get clothes to wear, food in their stomach, or if their parent is coming home, which was all in a typical day for me. To this day, drugs are still my biological mom’s first priority. I remember one time when she was getting ready to go out to the bar and my baby brother was crying. She was angry and took the iron and ironed his whole arm up.  He ended up with 3rd degree burns.  Episodes like that were not unusual, she was crazy while on drugs and angry while off them. I had to be a protector for my younger siblings, even though I was only in Elementary school myself.  Our life with her was very much like walking on eggshells all the time.

In some ways I, being an adult now am thankful that I did see that stuff.  I really believe that seeing those things prevented me from following the same destructive path! Those things scared me! Maybe had I not seen the destructive behavior I would have followed the same destructive path that many of my family had been on. I can proudly say that I am in my 40’s now and I have never touched an illegal drug in my life, nor am I an alcoholic. I have come a long way from the days of being in the projects and labeled as a troubled kid. I just want to encourage you that you also can “remove” the labels that you have been given and change all your negative circumstance and have them become positive ones. I am thankful that I can encourage others to know that we can be productive members of society. I have never been in trouble with the law. I have my own business. I have kids that are doing well and have not been in the system! Kids, that are loving and caring, and compassionate people.  Kids that have been on the honor roll, have been inducted into the national honor society, and kids that have skipped a grade.  Not typical of what society would have thought since I was a “foster” kid.  I volunteer time at the schools and at church and have done many things to help with the military, (not just because I am a military spouse) I am thankful that I can give back to the community.

I believe that there are several things that led me to where I am today, first of all I had had a few amazing people in my life that were kind to me and looked past the “label”. I know that many didn’t understand the full extent of my situation because I kept what I could to myself.  Of course, what I was unable to hide, they saw as when we had to change out in gym many saw the bruises up and down my back.  The why of it all, was not spoken of back then.  Now I can share the reason, which was because I wouldn’t smoke pot with my adoptive Dad’s new wife! Most parents would be grateful and praise their kids choosing not to engage in that behavior. I knew the destruction that life style had lead too. I was removed from the situation and my foster care journey began again, this time it was different, I had my high school Guidance counselor in my corner! She reached out to me and wanted me! She had asked my social worker if she could have custody of me! He said no, but that didn’t stop her, she then went to court and asked for custody of me .The Judge granted custody to her. There I finally found love, care and concern! She helped me realize that it wasn’t my fault! I did well while I was staying there, but she was not a certified foster home so my time with her there was short. Over the next four years I went around to numerous foster homes until I reached my 18th birthday, where I then was out on my own in this BIG World, I hadn’t even graduated high school yet, I was even told that I may not get to graduate, I was Like heck! I had not come that far not to get my diploma. My biological Mom had only had an 8th Grade education. I saw how she was on welfare and we lived in the projects and I was not going to follow any of that destructive cycle.

I look back at where I came from and the odds and statistics I have overcome and a lot of that is all because of the decisions and choices I did make.  As a child we were innocent victims, but as adults we control our destiny.  We can either choose to allow the past to rob us or embrace the obstacles that we have overcome and make those negative things positive. I know that many may judge and I want to tell you to stay far away from those people.  Find people that are caring people who accept you for who you are!  I was fortunate to have people in Elementary and Jr. High like that who saw beyond my circumstances and were true friends.

Recently on Facebook, I found some of them and it amazed me to hear, “You are the way I remember you! So filled with love”. Many said that they didn’t know what a hard life I had.  I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me! I didn’t want to be judged for things that I had no control over! If I can overcome all the adversity that I did you certainly can! Good Luck to you and God Bless!

Feel free to contact me via email declutterbuddy@aol.com.  There are wonderful sites like this FosterCareInAmerica.com that offers some great resources and others for you to reach out! Don’t let statistics scare you! You can beat them!  I truly believe that you can come from one of the best families and become a “mess” or you can come like me from one of the most messed up families and be a success.  It is really up to you what you do with your life, if you make better choices you can lead a fulfilled life. It is all up to you and what path you get on!

There were many people that helped me and have shown me unconditional love and acceptance; Grandpa John and Grandma Toni who love me and my children, without hesitation and I am forever grateful that I am blessed to be part of their family.

To my many friends, you are more like my family. I love you with all my heart and am thankful that I have you in my life as well. To my Children, you have been a huge blessing in my life and I am thankful for each and every one of you!

A steel magnolia: Janiva Magness sings the blues in Taos

By Ariana Kramer

Friday, January 14, 2011 2:08 PM MST
Most people are roughed up a little by life’s twists and turns. Some are slammed down hard. If they get up, they aren’t the same. If they find their voice, it rings clear.

Janiva Magness has that kind of voice, and you can find out just how clear it is when she performs Sunday (Jan. 16), 6 p.m., at the KTAOS Solar Center, 9 State Road 150, north of El Prado.

Magness has received international fame for how she sings the blues. In May 2009, she became the second woman to ever receive the Blues Music Award’s B.B. King Entertainer of the Year Award.

“Queen of Blues” Koko Taylor was the first. Taylor’s last performance was on stage at the 2009 Blues Music Awards. That night, Taylor accepted her 29th Blues Music Award, making the “Queen” the recipient of more awards than any other artist. Less than a month after the awards ceremony, Taylor died. Was there a passing of the torch that night?

For nearly three decades, Magness has performed blues and R&B to audiences across the world, 150 nights a year. In 2008, Magness visited Kuwait and Iraq as the co-headliner for Bluzapalooza, bringing hope to American soldiers abroad.

She has recorded with artists including the late, great R.L. Burnside and released nine highly acclaimed CDs. Magness grew up in Detroit, Mich., steeped in the classic Motown sound. As a child, she sang along to the radio, her father’s country and blues albums, and TV show theme songs, and made up acts to perform for the family’s cats and dog.

She recalled her father as an early musical influence. “My dad had a beautiful voice, and sang to us as little kids,” she said.

Overall, though, Magness wasn’t particularly supported in her interest in music. She wanted to, but didn’t, take piano lessons. She wasn’t allowed to touch her family’s piano. As she grew older, Magness hung around with musicians and started to learn the profession. She remembers the first time she sang in front of an audience.

“It was absolutely horrifying and completely exhilarating all at the same time. And that’s really true,” said Magness, “Absolutely horrifying. And totally exhilarating. Like nothing else I’d ever experienced. Both. At the same time. It was amazing, really amazing.”

At around 19 years old, Magness started auditioning for gigs, driven by a primary thought. “I was pretty sure I was gonna die young, and I didn’t wanna die having not tried.” Magness tried out for every gig that she could, even the ones she didn’t want, in order to practice auditioning.

“It would turn out,” said Magness, matter- of-factly, “I got every single gig that I auditioned for — I got every single one of them.” She added, “It wouldn’t occur to me until years later that that actually meant that I could sing. I just thought it was some sort of fluke. I really just could not wrap my head around this idea that it might be an indication of some raw talent that was there, that I really might, that the universe was saying ‘yes’ to me.”

Magness also found her way to interning at a recording studio. One day she was asked to sing some background vocals at the studio. Soon she had steady work as a backup singer.

In the early 1980s, Magness left Detroit and moved to Phoenix, Ariz. She became friends with Bob Tate (musical director for the great Sam Cooke) who helped her form her first band, Janiva Magness and the Mojomatics. The band was named the city’s Best Blues Band by Phoenix New Times.

After moving to Los Angeles, Magness recorded several independent releases before signing with Northern Blues in 2004. Coproduced by Magness and Canadian roots star Colin Linden. “Do I Move You?” debuted at No. 8 on the Billboard Blues Chart and was the No. 1 Blues CD of the Year in 2006 on Living Blues magazine’s radio chart.

Magness has been nominated for four 2011 major blues music awards. But, that isn’t her whole story.

By the age of 16, Janiva Magness lost both of her parents to suicide.

Asked how she survived, Magness answered, “a handful of people basically changed the course of my life. A small handful of people.”

“I’m talking about a 15-minute conversation,” Magness continued, “with a seventh grade English teacher, who was a man who cared about me in a very, very appropriate way … He caught me cutting class, sat me down in an empty classroom and talked with me for 15 minutes. I was a wreck that day. I was crying. I was hysterical. I was not ok. I was fixin’ to … you know … get the hell outta Dodge. And he saw, he recognized, a very wounded human being. And changed the course that day.”

Magness emphasized, “That was a 15-minute conversation. You never know when a really simple act of human kindness is gonna change, actually change, the lifetime of a child.”

After her parents’ deaths, Magness was in and out of foster homes (12 in all). She finally landed on the doorstep of an unlikely source of security, a single mother with five children on Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC), who was working and going to school.

“She would end up being my final foster placement. It changed everything for me,” said Magness. “A loving, kind human being that was brave enough to love me, a loving, kind human being that had boundaries.”

When they met, Magness had just been released from a hospital after a suicide attempt. She called a youth center to find a place to spend the night.

“This woman took me in because she happened to be name number seven or something on a list of people willing to take in teenage girls for one or two nights, let them sleep on her couch so they wouldn’t have to sleep on the streets. She was a name with a phone number on a list at a youth center.” said Magness.

Pregnant, panicked, holding a plastic bag with all her earthly belongings, the teenager found a permanent friend in the mother who took her in. “She and I really, really bonded. She was not willing to kick me to the curb again. She wasn’t willing to let that happen to me again. So she applied for foster licensing — and got it.”

Magness gave birth and then put her daughter up for adoption. Years later they reunited. Today, Magness is a proud grandmother as well as mother.

“So, how did I survive?” Magness summed up. “I’m a very, very, very stubborn woman. I don’t give up very easily.”

When she visited extended family in Texas, Oklahoma and Arkansas, Magness discovered this was a family trait. “My dad was from the south, a big family. He was a preacher’s kid, the ‘Grapes of Wrath,’ that’s what my daddy came out of.”

Magness visited with her father’s family as an adult, meeting distant cousins for the first time. “The men were really strong. But the women were like steel magnolias. And, I ain’t kiddin.’ Rock. Hard. Women. It was a mind-blowing experience. Mindblowing.”

These days, Magness uses her strength, resilience, and celebrity to help others. For the sixth consecutive year, Magness is proud to be a spokesperson for National Foster Care Month’s “Change a Lifetime” Program, www.fostercaremonth.org, with resources for helping children in need of foster care.

Magness also serves as an ambassador of Foster Care Alumni for Foster Care Alumni of America, an organization that provides resources to the adult alumni of the foster care system in the United States, an estimated 12 million people.

Magness also sees her job in a new light. “I understand what my job is today. I feel very lucky that I finally am clear about what my job is. And the job, as I understand it, is about human connection. The gift is the music. For me, the vehicle is the music. But, the job is about connection.”

Nearly half a million children and youth need foster care.

For information on fostering a child in Taos County, contact Child Youth and Family Department at (575) 758- 8871. For more on Janiva Magness, visit www.janivamagness.com.

Tickets to the show are $10 in advance, $15 at the door. The KTAO Solar Center is located at 9 State Road 150. Call (575) 758-5826.

18 and on her own – Life after foster care

ORLANDO —

Jaleeca Dawkins is determined not to become a statistic.
She turned 18 in December, during her senior year of high school.
At first, she celebrated, but reality soon set in — Jaleeca was on her own.
“The day I turned 18, I got my first rent notice,” she said.

Jaleeca was in foster care for nearly five years. After living in an abusive home, then group and foster homes, shelters, and finally transitional housing at 18, she said she finally has a support system helping her grow up.

“You pay rent, you get your own room, you have cable and stuff like that,” she told me. “You have a curfew. It’s a big help for kids that are about to move out into their own apartment, so when they move, they’ll know what to expect.”

She still has to cook, go grocery shopping and pay her bills, all while trying to finish high school.

Jaleeca, though, is not your normal foster child. She’s doing very well, but many others in her shoes are not as lucky.

Tara Hormell, executive director of the Children’s Home Society of Florida, said cutting foster kids off at 18 is setting them up for failure.
“Know how to budget wisely, make sure you pay your rent on time, go to work, make sure you show up on time – have all those skills that sometimes it takes even a normal youth to the age of way past 25 to learn,” said Hormell. “They’re expected to learn by 18, and it’s not very realistic.”
Here is the reality, according to the Children’s Home Society:

• 33 percent of youth who age out of foster care will become homeless within three years.
• 60 percent will have a child within four years.
• 25 percent of men who age out of foster care will end up in jail or prison.

Jaleeca, who plans on becoming the first person in her family to graduate high school, has seen the faces of those statistics.
“Right now, one of my friends, she has two kids. She’s 17, and she’s behind in school,” said Jaleeca.
But she also sees her future, which she says is success.
“It’s up to me to do what I got to do,” she said.

Groups in support of extending the foster care age to 21 said by reallocating funds and using federal dollars, it doesn’t have to cost Florida taxpayers anything.

The Florida Department of Children and Families said it is working on legislation to change the age requirement. The agency just needs a lawmaker to sponsor it.
We are waiting to hear from Gov. Rick Scott on his position on the proposal.

In 2008, then-President George W. Bush signed the Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act, which allows states to extend the age of foster care to 19, 20 or 21.
The Children’s Home Society of Florida says the law highlighted the need to improve outcomes for older youth in foster care.

Some other U.S. states have already extended the age.
In Illinois, for example, 58 percent of young adults who stayed in foster care until age 21 attended college.

According to a Chaplin Hall study, extending the foster care age would double the percentage of former foster youth who earn bachelor’s degrees, from 10.2 percent to 20.4 percent.
The study said those who remain in care until age 21 are 65 percent less likely to be arrested, and 38 percent less likely to become pregnant shortly after aging out than those who age out at 18.

Hanover County recognized as one of America’s best communities

Submitted by Iva Radman, Community Web Producer Friday, January 7th, 7:21 am Share:

Hanover County has been recognized as being one of America’s “100 Best Communities for Young People”. One of the programs cited by the America’s Promise Alliance and ING in the most recent award was the “Hanover Care for Kids” program offered by the County’s Department of Social Services, which is celebrating its 10th anniversary.

Established in 2001, the Hanover Cares for Kids program helps meet the day-to-day needs of children and youth in foster care.  Karlyne Snead, coordinator of the program, notes that the program’s goal is to make the foster care experience as normal as possible and ensure children have the basics.

For example, children coming into foster care may need such items as shoes, clothes or toys. Children about to leave foster care and enter the world of young adulthood may help with such items as class rings, school pictures and furnishings for their new apartment.

“Every child deserves to know their needs will be met and to feel comforted that they fit into our community and have  the support of caring adults,” Snead says. “That’s what we’re all about.”

Because financial resources are limited, Social Services solicits both private and corporate sponsors to help provide some of the ‘extras’ that many see as basic. “Being able to see a movie, get the must-have toy of the year or participate in extracurricular activities may be out of reach for children in foster care,” Snead explains.

On average, the program receives $8,000-$10,000 in donations and sponsorships per year.  Currently, 20 sponsors are serving 23 children and sponsors are needed for six other children.

“We want to offer smooth transitions for young people experiencing change – whether it is moving into foster care, or moving from foster care into the world of young adulthood, and ultimately into the world of work and becoming productive, contributing members of our community,” Snead says.

In addition to “Cares for Kids”, the Hanover Department of Social Services also provides Independent Living Training. Topics include academic support, career preparation, employment and vocational training and life skills such as how to budget, pay bills and find housing.

Anyone interested in volunteering to mentor or sponsor a child should call Karlyne Snead at the Hanover Department of Social Services, 365-4165.

Hanover’s Care for Kids program also won an Achievement Award from the Virginia Association of Counties in 2003

This article originally appeared on Ashland News

The American church and adoption

48 Comments Written by Anthony Bradley December 29, 10:39 AM

How can America have Christian churches and 115,000 orphans? But that is the case, with a sizable group of Christian families in all 50 states and true orphans lingering in foster care year after year. But what would happen if more pastors and church leaders would adopt orphans or model orphan care in their personal lives? Pastors tend to preach and teach about their interests and practices. And American Christians tend to apply the Bible to real life issues after a pastor or recognized leader stirs up interest. So if church leaders would cast a practice-driven vision for orphan care, churchgoers likely would be challenged to participate in one of the most ancient practices of God’s covenant people (Exodus 22; Deuteronomy 14, 16, 24).

If a church considers itself a comprehensively “biblical” one it should foster a culture of adoption and orphan care as a practice of “true religion” (James 1:26-27). Historically, orphan care has distinguished redeemed people from other people groups in the world. In fact, no other religion in the world has made orphan care a normal aspect of spiritual life like Christianity. A God that has made a series of successive covenants to redeem His entire creation through the work of His Son uniquely has positioned His people to put salvation on full display through redemptive acts like adoption.

On a trip to Atlanta last week I was reminded of the adoption problem as I watched a special Christmas edition of “Wednesday’s Child” on the local Fox 5 television. The program profiles orphaned children who have been permanently severed from their families, and over the years there have been about 600 Atlanta children featured but only about half of them have been adopted. The adoption of 300 children is great news, but placements could be better in a city with such a high concentration of large evangelical churches. In fact, Atlanta Christians alone could adopt all of Georgia’s 1,800 true orphans.

I wonder what would happen if Christians thought of family beyond its sometimes idolatrous, biological constraints? My guess is that adoption would become a part of normative church culture. American orphan statistics would plummet. Several years ago I worked in a church where adoption was a part of the pastor’s practice, as well as the practice of the congregational leaders, and it became a part of the church’s culture. Adoption was on display in the pews on Sundays. It was beautiful to witness.

I certainly do not want to make orphan care any type of new legalism, nor a litmus test for church leadership, but I am convinced that orphans will continue to linger in foster care until more pastors and leaders begin to adopt and teach about their experiences. I’m neither a pastor nor a church leader, but if I were, and were married, I’d be, without question, an adoptive parent and this practice would become a regular part of my teaching and, Lord willing, my church’s culture.

I also recognize that every family cannot adopt orphans for various reasons. But the United States only has 115,000 true orphans. Is the American church so dead that we cannot find 115,000 Christian families willing to adopt? Or maybe churchgoers are simply following their leaders?

‘A Home for the Holidays’ is must-see TV

Monday, December 20, 2010 – The Red Thread: An Adoptive Family Forum by Andrea Poe

NEW YORK – Miracle on 34th Street.  Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.  Charlie Brown’s Christmas.  All must-sees in the days leading up the holidays.

This year there’s another holiday TV event you’ll want to add to your list.  “A Home for the Holidays” celebrates adoptive families and brings awareness to foster care kids around the country.

Music stars like Jimmy Wayne, Melissa Etheridge, Ricky Martin, Nelly and Katy Perry will perform and stars like Mira Sorvino and Sharon Osbourne will present awards to special kids and families.

Viewers will be inspired by families who have been created through adoption, like the Cates family from Los Angeles.  In 2001, Arthur and Mary Cates met 7-year-old Darnell at an adoption fair.  In foster care since birth, Darnell had less than a 30 percent chance of ever being adopted because of his age when they met him.  The Cates family adopted him and he’s now 16 years old.

“I’ve experienced a new world full of hope and have overcome that sadness. It feels like I’ve been with my parents my whole life,” says Darnell.

And, thanks to a chance meeting at an adoption event in 2007, the Cates family expanded again when they met and adopted two foster kids named Sierra and Phillip.

There are more than a half-million children in the foster care system in America and over 114,000 of them are currently eligible for adoption, looking for permanent and loving homes.  This holiday program will uplift and hopefully transform lives.

A Home for the Holidays will run on CBS on December 22nd from 8 – 9 p.m. EST.

Mid America Motorworks group provides foster families with holiday cheer

12.16.2010– Effingham, Ill. – Mid America Motorworks is known as a world supplier of parts and accessories for Corvettes and Air-Cooled Volkswagens. In 1998 a group of employees changed their focus to the local community. They decided to use money they were spending on gifts for each other to instead buy gifts for area foster children and their families. With the support of the Yager family, an employee-directed committee was formed and named Caring & Sharing. Since that time Caring & Sharing has worked with Catholic Charities of Effingham, Ill. annually to bring holiday cheer to foster children.

Caring & Sharing works with Catholic Charities to determine the needs of the children and their families during the holidays. Approximately 40 children are selected each year from any of the seven counties served by Effingham Catholic Charities. The non-profit organization provides gift options for each child and Mid America Motorworks employees begin shopping.

Each year gifts are donated for children as young as a few months all the way through teens. Everything from clothes, games, toys, food and household items are donated, depending on the needs of each family.

In order to raise funds for the Caring & Sharing program, employees organize events during the fourth quarter of the year. An annual soup cookoff, cookie sales and basket raffles provide the bulk of funding. Employee donations are accepted throughout the year as well.

What began as a way to give back to a worthwhile cause in the community has grown into a tradition at Mid America Motorworks. Caring & Sharing is proud to participate in such a meaningful program and looks forward to continuing to build a lasting relationship with Catholic Charities.

Mid America Motorworks offers quality parts and accessories for 1953-2011 Corvette and Air-Cooled VW enthusiasts. For more information on Mid America Motorworks, or to request a free catalog, please call toll free 1-800-500-1500 or shop www.mamotorworks.com. Follow us on facebook and twitter, and keep up with Mike Yager at blog.autotainment.com.

Peabody Energy Donates $50,000 for Area Foster Care Program

http://interact.stltoday.com/pr/business/PR12151007105038

BY abovethefold | Posted: Wednesday, December 15, 2010 07:10 PM

Outstanding Results in St. Louis Foster Care Aging Out Initiative — More of St. Louis’ foster youth than ever before are assuming adult responsibilities – like securing jobs and earning high school diplomas – thanks to the St. Louis Aging Out program, an innovative public-private initiative to help foster youth successfully leave state custodial care. The program has demonstrated three consecutive years of improved results, and this week announced a major grant from St. Louis-based Peabody Energy.

“We have demonstrated since 2007 that this region-wide effort is on the right track,” says Kevin Drollinger, Executive Director for Epworth Children & Family Services, the lead service agency for the St. Louis Aging Out initiative. “We want to express our thanks to the dedicated Aging Out staff as well as to all of the community leaders like Peabody and the volunteers who not only envisioned this program but continue to support it.”

Peabody Energy has now announced it is contributing $50,000 to support Epworth’s Aging Out Center in University City, Mo. More than 500 youth use the center annually, where they can receive hot meals, access laundry and shower facilities, use computers, and attend counseling or life skills classes.

“Without financial and personal support from family members, many foster teens in our region struggle to function in an adult world. Enabling these youth to successfully transition out of foster care is a significant focus for Epworth, and it is a cause my wife Lisa and I support,” says Greg Boyce, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Peabody Energy. “Youth participating in the Aging Out program exhibit determination, and we admire their strength on this journey.”

Greg Boyce and his wife, Lisa, will be honored for their efforts to help at-risk youth and support the community at Epworth’s 2011 Pillar of Strength Award Ceremony on Friday, February 4, 2011 at the Chase Park Plaza in the Khorassan Ballroom.

The St. Louis Aging Out program was established in 2006 by nine St. Louis philanthropic organizations to provide a regional support center for foster youth and to create a comprehensive, coordinated network of vital foster services. The initiative has boosted self-advocacy skills and behaviors, successfully advocated for broad reforms in the Missouri foster care system, and enabled many youth to earn their high school diploma or GED. Overwhelming positive results from the program have attracted national attention.

Ongoing funding for the program is essential. St. Louis Aging Out has demonstrated impressive results over the past three years:

·      91% of youth in the program demonstrated self-advocacy behaviors such as securing a job, identifying and navigating health providers, and opening a bank account.

·      91% of youth created “life binders” containing important — and previously missing or scattered information — such as birth certificates, family health history, school transcript(s), and immunization records.

·      70% of youth either earned their high school diploma or GED or are on track to graduate. Midwest statistics show that typically only 30 – 50% of youth in foster care actually graduate from high school or earn their GED.

Legislative successes include advocating for the extension of medical insurance to cover foster youth until age 21 (instead of 18), an increase in funding for basic necessities for foster youth, and the creation of a Governor’s Blue Ribbon Task Force to address issues faced by children aging out of state custodial care.

“Ongoing support is vital for this foster care initiative,” stresses Drollinger. “We need to ensure that the safety net for the foster youth in St. Louis remains a strong and vital resource.”

To participate in the 2011 Pillar of Strength Award Dinner honoring the Boyces and supporting programs such as Aging Out, contact Epworth at (314) 961-5718 or visit Epworth.org.

About Epworth Children & Family Services
Epworth Children & Family Services was established in 1864 and serves the Greater St. Louis region. A founding member of the Child Welfare League of America, Epworth provides a wide variety of services to at-risk youth ages birth to 25 and their families. The organization offers intensive residential and day treatment programs for youth, and independent and transitional living programs. It also operates a youth emergency shelter with a 24-hour youth hotline and provides therapeutic counseling and educational services in its accredited school. Epworth is accredited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO) and has the BBB wise giving seal. Epworth is a Charter Member of the Missouri Coalition of Children’s Agencies, and is a proud member of the United Way of Greater St. Louis.

About Peabody Energy
Peabody Energy (NYSE: BTU) is the world’s largest private-sector coal company and a global leader in clean coal solutions.  With 2009 sales of 244 million tons and $6 billion in revenues, Peabody fuels 10 percent of U.S. power and 2 percent of worldwide electricity.

Mentors, youths aging out of foster care benefit from program

By Tim Gurrister

Standard-Examiner staff

Last updated

Saturday, December 11, 2010 – 7:32pm

Authors

• Tim Gurrister

OGDEN — Sometimes they sound like sisters.

They both like Coca-Cola over Pepsi, and are avid readers.

“We both like Lady Gaga,” Bree said. “Some of her songs, not all of them.”

“We like some of her outfits, not all of them,” Catherine adds during a recent lunch.

They also share a love of horror movies.

“Despite what movie reviewers might want to hear after ‘Resident Evil 4,’ obviously there is going to be a ‘Resident Evil 5,’ ” said Catherine.

“She likes horror movies and listens to rock, not country or opera,” said Bree, who then brings up Ozzie Osbourne. “When he talks, you can’t understand him, but he can still sing the lyrics to his songs.”

“Bree’s introduced me to things I wouldn’t have experienced,” Catherine said.

Bree is an 18-year-old “aging out” of state-run foster care; Catherine Conklin is a 2nd District Court commissioner, a judgeship presiding over divorces and protective orders, among other things.

They came together when matched in July under the Mentor Connection program.

Run out of Ogden’s juvenile court, the program is a first in the state hoping to provide a safety net for 18-year-olds outgrowing foster care.

The Division of Child and Family Services had to take the youths, through no fault of their own, from the home of their malfunctioning biological parents.

And now DCFS is losing custody as the youths reach adult age, said Sarah Pomeroy, an administrator with the DCFS Northern Region.

She handles the mentor program, along with Chris Wilson, a 2nd District Juvenile Court official in Ogden.

“Youths aging out of foster care are vulnerable to homelessness, pregnancy, incarceration and other problems — much more so than those aging out of traditional family situations,” Pomeroy said.

“On average, nationwide, youths leave their home at age 24. Ours are leaving at age 18 or 19 with much less support around them.”

“These are kids who are so vulnerable because they’ve been tossed around a lot,” Wilson said, “some since they were very young. But they are also resilient.”

The officials and mentors are banned by privacy laws governing juvenile court, as well as a gag order from the Utah Attorney General’s Office, from talking about the family situations Bree and other teens were in before being rescued by DCFS.

Basically, they can’t go home once they are released from foster care.

“There’s a lot of disconnect, a misconception out there that they are in foster care because they did something wrong,” Pomeroy said. “These are not kids with criminal records.”

The Mentor Connection has run off a very small federal grant the past two years, with 15 volunteer mentors so far coming forward, three groups of five, set up via sessions with 15 teens, most recently in mid-November.

The kids attend an orientation one night, the mentors an orientation another night, then the “matching” gathering brings them all together the next night.

Each 18-year-old sits at a table with three questions to ask the five or six mentors on hand. They sit for four minutes at a table talking individually, then the bell rings and the mentors rotate to sit with another teen.

“It really is like speed dating,” Wilson said. “It’s a great ice-breaker that way.”

The youths then confidentially list their top three choices, and Pomeroy and Wilson go from there to match mentors to the youths.

“So far, they’ve all matched themselves,” said Pomeroy, meaning each teen was matched with one of their three finalists.

The only thing limiting the program is time commitment and the number of mentors.

“We’ve got plenty of kids who’d like one,” Pomeroy said. “People are busy and don’t understand what the program entails.

“But I’m encouraged that we are going to find more mentors. I will say we need more men to match with our males who are in care.”

Funding does not allow for advertising, so mentor recruiting has been word of mouth.

Fellow 2nd District judges and mentors W. Brent West and Mike DiReda talked Conklin into it in July.

“I was trying to find a way to do something more to be directly involved with people and to try to help some folks,” Conklin said.

“It’s been a great experience,” West said, now involved with his second mentee.

His first, an 18-year-old girl, graduated from Ben Lomond High School under his watch, earned a letter in athletics, and is attending Weber State University. He’s now mentoring the girl’s younger brother.

“It’s a friendship I’m sure I’ll have for the rest of my life,” DiReda said of his experience. “My mentee knows he can call me any time.”

Shane and Patty Rose, who run their own consulting businesses in information technology and accounting, respectively, are also matched with their second “mentee,” as Patty, Conklin and others, call the teens.

The mentors said including the teens in holiday gatherings is a highlight.

“Our current mentee has graduated from high school and is living on her own at 17,” said Patty Rose. “She is super busy, has two jobs, and we keep in touch mostly through text messages.

“Texting works bests with teens,” Rose said, laughing. “She is so on the ball and directing her own life, we have mainly been getting to know her and just hanging out when our schedules permit.”

Rose said mentors work as counselors, not taskmasters.

“To be a friend, a shoulder, an ear, whatever,” she said. “It’s not about giving advice, it’s about being there with them. If they seek advice, we’ll give it, but we don’t want to come off like another nagging adult parental figure.”

Mentor Connection is the brainchild of the late 2nd District Juvenile Judge Kathleen Nelson, who died suddenly in August from complications from a fall.

“She massaged us into starting this program,” Wilson said. “We’d have nothing if not for her. It’s her legacy.”

“I get emotional talking about Judge Nelson’s passion for this program,” Pomeroy said. “She saw the potential in those kids every day.”

Bree was selected by the officials as the media subject, one who would do justice to Nelson’s faith.

“That match was just perfect,” Pomeroy said of Bree linking up with Conklin. “The sky’s the limit for Bree. But I’m not sure if she sees that. She’s an amazing young lady who has overcome a lot.”

Bree just needs to finish her high school diploma before Conklin can take her apartment hunting.

“I don’t know if Commissioner Conklin knows this, but Bree said of the matching, ‘As long as I don’t get matched with any sort of judge, because I don’t like judges,’ ” Pomeroy said.

“We razz her about that. She just says, ‘She’s not a judge, she’s a commissioner.’

Singer/Songwriter Kevin Montgomery Launches his 50 States in 50 Days Tour and Partners with Orange Duffel Bag Foundation to Help Teens Aging Out of Foster Care and Homeless Youth

For Immediate Release

Nashville, Tennessee – Singer/songwriter Kevin Montgomery announced his 50 States in 50 Days Tour kicking off on October 29, 2010, in Alaska and ending on December 17, 2010, in Hawaii. In partnership with Every Child USA, an awareness and fundraising campaign focusing on education and healthcare for children in poverty, and the Orange Duffel Bag Foundation, a nonprofit offering leadership and life skills training and community connections for at-risk youth, Montgomery’s mission is to play a show in a different state every night for 50 nights in a row and bring light to the epidemic of teens aging out of foster care and becoming the “invisible homeless.” Along the way, Montgomery will blog and videologue stories of those who have aged out of foster care, been homeless as teens or overcame that background. He plans to create a documentary based on the question: “Who was the one person who influenced your life in a positive way?”

Montgomery, who has 15,000 followers on Twitter, 5,000 Facebook friends and 3,500 fans on Facebook, is booking the entire tour using those two social networks. He has also set up a special blog for the tour and its mission as well as a Facebook Group called I Support Kevin Montgomery’s 50 States in 50 Days Tour. Montgomery will be live streaming concerts throughout the tour at certain locations via his channel on Ustream.tv (http://www.ustream.tv/channel/kevin-montgomery-s-50-states-in-50-days). Followers of the tour can track his journey via GPS in real time. The indie artist has built a highly interactive relationship with his loyal fan base by utilizing all the latest tools social media offers.

Montgomery’s father sang and wrote songs with Buddy Holly. His mom sang on Elvis’ “Suspicious Minds” and Bob Dylan’s “Nashville Skyline.”
At 23 Montgomery landed a recording contract in Los Angeles with A&M Records and toured with Sheryl Crow, David Crosby and Peter Himmelman. He eventually moved back to Nashville. He sang on Lee Ann Womack’s I Hope You Dance CD. He also wrote “I Won’t Close My Eyes” featured on Martina McBride’s triple platinum Evolution CD. In April 2000, he packed his bags. He now tours the UK, Europe and Australia extensively. He still hasn’t unpacked those bags, and this marks his third annual 50 States in 50 Days Tour.

Reviewers describe his music as Americana in the Jackson Browne tradition. His most recent album “True,” featured a remake of his father Bob Montgomery’s Patsy Cline classic “Back in Baby’s Arms.” He is recording a new album prior to the tour.

Montgomery will be joined on the tour in Atlanta by Arrested Development and Orange Duffel Bag Foundation Spokesperson Speech, a two-time Grammy award-winning singer/songwriter and co-founder of Arrested Development (www.speechmusic.com ). Speech, who divided his time as a child between a Milwaukee ghetto and suburbia, learned how to give voice to the plight of his people and turned his anger over racism into messages of hope and change. Known for his groundbreaking work on 3 years, 5 months and 2 days in the life of and the international hit Tennessee, Speech has toured with everyone from Vice President Al Gore and Hillary Clinton to Hootie & the Blowfish, Herbie Hancock, Chaka Khan, Youssou N/dour, James Brown, Jason Mraz and The Roots. A devoted family man, Speech recently wrote a book called What is Success?: How to be Successful God’s Way.

Montgomery’s sister Echo Garrett (www.echogarrett.com) is president and co-founder of Orange Duffel Bag Foundation, which provides training based on a book she co-authored called My Orange Duffel Bag with Sam Bracken, who grew up in Las Vegas surrounded by mobsters and motorcycle gang members. His mom abandoned him at age 15, and he kept his homelessness secret from his high school. When he flew from Las Vegas to Atlanta after winning a full-ride football scholarship at the Georgia Institute of Technology, everything he owned fit in an orange duffel bag. The graphic mini-memoir/self help book has an unusual format intended to appeal to all learning styles. It features more than 60 original images by internationally award-winning photographer Kevin Garrett (www.kevingarrett.com) and a free DVD with audio book, the book trailer and 7 videos of Bracken, now a successful executive with FranklinCovey, discussing how he transformed his life. Bracken’s story and efforts through the Foundation have recently been featured on CNN in a segment called Mission Possible, on NBC-affiliate 11 Alive and in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Bracken and Garrett will be joining Montgomery on some tour dates.

My Orange Duffel Bag has been named the November 2010 Book Selection by the Pulpwood Queens, the largest book club in the world with more than 3,000 members and 325 chapters across the U.S. and in 10 countries. The Pulpwood Queens/Timber Guys are actively supporting Montgomery’s tour and his mission, and Pulpwood Queen founder Kathy Louise Patrick calls it the “must-read book of the year – The Blind Side-meets-Same Kind of Different as Me.” Patrick, who owns the only beauty salon and bookstore in the nation and runs two popular book blogs, pledged to her social network that she would dye her hair to match the book’s orange cover if 1,000 books sold in the month of June. Patrick, the authors and several other supporters, now all sport orange hair as a result of making that goal.

“We’re starting a movement,” says Mike Daly, chairman of the Orange Duffel Bag Foundation. “We want the orange duffel bag to become a symbol of hope for at-risk youth everywhere.”

To support the cause by attending or hosting a concert in your home state, visit the Road Map at http://the50statesin50daystour.com/the-roadmap/. Get involved by joining I Support Kevin Montgomery’s 50 States in 50 Days Tour on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=124130884288402&ref=ts

Media inquiries or Tour Sponsorships:
Kevin@kevinmontgomery.com
or
Echo Garrett echo@seelevelstudios.com 770-977-7509 or c. 404-538-4983
or
Mike Daly MDALY1111@aol.com 770-331-7605

Photos available upon request.

To learn more about Kevin Montgomery’s 50 States in 50 Days Tour, visit http://the50statesin50daystour.com/